The MeeThinks Saturday Spectacular: 08.04.07

Rock & Roll

WWE News

RAW Rating Hits Scary Low… Or DOES IT?
Monday’s 2.5 Number Might Have Been a Nielsen Glitch

These week, the wild and wonderful world of professional wrestling has so generously provided us with not one, not two, but THREE separate (and major) examples of just how important it is not to believe everything you hear, and to remain POSITIVE in spite of the latest “big story” until ALL of the pertinent details come to light. Now true, this column has the advantage of being the last 411 news report published each week — but there’s also something to be said for approaching each new “sensational” story with a due degree of skepticism and OPTIMISM… as jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst before the dust settles has left *many* a so-called “expert” (even a few usually quite credible folks on this very website) with a pretty sizable wad of egg on their faces in the past seven days.

Take a look —

Example 1: Monday-Wednesday, RAW rating announced as a 2.5 — IWC goes into full “this is the end of WWE!” panic mode, believing that the low rating was OBVIOUSLY a result of fans tuning out en masse after the steroid scandal and the fallout from the Benoit murders.

Example 2: Monday, word leaks that TNA Wrestling has signed NFL troublemaker Adam “Pacman” Jones — many IWC mainstays presume that this signing means that as an ill-fated publicity stunt (think David Arquette), the guy will probably be thrust into the company’s main event and handed their title belt in no time.

Example 3: Monday-Tuesday, word gets out that Jeff Hardy “no-showed” on RAW — IWC automatically assumes that the guy is one step away from another firing. Wednesday, word leaks that Jeff’s absence wasn’t a no-show, but rather the result of an injury sustained two weeks ago — and so web fans are quick to add Hardy’s name to the ever-expanding WWE disabled list.

Of course, the REALITY of each of these situations is quite a bit different than those initial knee-jerk reactionaries may have had y’all believe. Kinda like:

Counterexample 1: Friday, it’s announced that the Nielsen ratings board was experiencing major glitches this week, and that RAW’s “scary low” rating was likely one of the products of this error. The actual rating is expected to be substantially higher, as RAW usually draws somewhere in the neighborhood of a 3.4 Nielsen rating each week… and a drop in nearly 1 whole point for a long-running show in just a week’s time is pretty rare.

Counterexample 2: Tuesday, the Associated Press reports that while Pacman Jones might well appear for TNA, he won’t be wrestling for the company as his NFL contract prohibits any non-football activities that could cause injury.

Counterexample 3: Wednesday, this very website declares “the story is set straight” and cites Jeff’s MySpace page to confirm that Hardy wasn’t actually a no-show on Monday, but that he’d actually been given 30 days off to heal following a particularly nasty fall on last week’s RAW. Later, 411 corrects their story and notes that Hardy’s absence on Monday wasn’t injury related, but rather the result of a “30 day suspension for ‘lack of maturity'” (hint: Wellness). In any case… Jeff’s monday night mishaps simply WERE NOT the result of him “no-showing” or being injured, as were earlier reported.

Which leads Mee to my next point, as Public Enemy and Wyclef Jean so famously put it not so long ago…

“Don’t believe the hype.”

There’s no question that WWE has certainly had a rough go of things, of late. Employees from top to bottom are still reeling from the Benoit murders, WWE’s creative team is still scrambling to rewrite an entire summer’s worth of storylines thanks to the now-scrapped McLimo angle, performers left and right are dealing with the added pressures of making sure to get off whatever supplements or meds they might be on, the US government and the mainstream media are just DYING to nail the next major star for a misstep, and freak injuries (“steroid-related” or non) are claiming headliners on just about a weekly basis… WWE has been running blindfolded through a minefield for the past four weeks. Understandably, there’s been a trend to churn out as much “status quo” and “inoffensive” television as possible, rather than take an errant misstep and set off the next big five-alarm crisis for both the company and the industry on the whole.

However, as scary as Monday’s RAW rating might well have been — it’s pretty clear now that Monday’s “new low” was likely something of a “false alarm” as it was more the result of a ratings glitch than it was the result of a million+ viewers simultaneously changing the channel because they suddenly got tired of John Cena. But false alarms can prove tremendously effective, ya’ know (think back to when HBK swerved the Canadian audience by blaring Bret Hart’s entrance theme, eh?). And so “false alarm” or no, MeeThinks that WWE has received what may well prove to be the “wake-up call” that they needed in order to get their act in gear to prevent from such a ratings slump happening again.

Vince McMahon Set for RAW Return
Chairman’s Appearance Hopes to Counter Slagging Ratings

This is precisely what I’m talking about when I say that the “false alarm” ratings dip simply could not be a better thing for World Wrestling Entertainment (and wrestling in general). After all, Vince himself will be the first to admit how difficult it has been to continue pushing himself (and his employees) to the same level of creative output as WWE saw during the “Attitude Era” and “The Monday Night Wars” now that WWE is pretty much the standing head and shoulders above their nearest competition when it comes to major wrestling organizations in North America.

But now?

Ratings are at a definite “concern” point (even if it was just a glitch, it’s not one the company would like to see repeated), USA Network execs are breathing down the ‘E’s neck for the company to bring its numbers up across the board (even if those same execs are completely out of touch and equally as culpable in overworking WWE performers as the McMahons themselves), stock prices are at a 12-month low (though the company saw similar numbers — and WORSE — as recently as February, 2006), a congressional investigation is looming near on the horizon (though again, this isn’t the first time for things like this), and injuries to major stars are abounding (though again, some might argue that injuries are and always have been a simple fact of life in a business like this one).

REGARDLESS… it sounds to Mee like WWE has found themselves a new competitor: the odds.

For years, Vince McMahon has earned his reputation as being the veritable Houdini of sports entertainment. Whenever the company seems on the verge of some major catastrophe, Vinny Mac has stepped up and shocked the world by coming out on top in SPITE of the odds working against his favor. Take a cue from history, folks — from buying his father’s company on a shoestring budget, to bankrupting powerblocks of the “old guard” in one fell swoop, to putting all of his eggs in an untested basket known as “WrestleMania,” to facing the possibility of serving time in a federal prison, to rebounding from an 82-week losing streak to Ted Turner, and now this — time and time again, WWE has proven that they are ALWAYS at their best when their backs are against the wall.

And since the low-rating “glitch” on Monday? Sounds like Vinny Mac himself has taken this latest bump in the road as a major wake-up call, and that things are due for a serious shake-up in short order. Take a look:

1) WrestlingObserver reports that Vince has been “encouraging people to come up with new, out of the box ideas.”

2) PWInsider reports “Vince McMahon is aware that many of the writers were writing programming to please him and that a major change may be needed.” Sounds like the Emperor just realized that he’s been standing stark-naked for some time, now. And he’s pissed.

3) McMahon himself has committed to a TV-return (love the character or hate him, you’ve gotta’ admit that he’s incredibly popular with the fans, and has done wonders to make people care about even the least established/charismatic/exciting of performers when he’s paired with or against them).

So as Bruce Hornsby once sang (in that commercial for the Home Depot, if I’m not mistaken)… “gonna’ be some changes made.” And if past behaviors are any indicator of future success, then I for one am incredibly optimistic that — when the pressure is on — Vince McMahon is precisely the man to get the job done.

Lashley to Undergo Surgery Next Tuesday
Former ECW Champ Could be Out For Months

Here’s the scoop, straight from WWE.com

Eesh.

Bright side? This could be something as small as a cartilage tear, which means that even though he’s likely to be out for SummerSlam, Bobby would still be back in action well in advance of the next “big four” PPV in Survivor Series this fall.

Realistically? This could be pretty substantial, as Lashley has been nursing a bad arm since just around WrestleMania back in March of this year. If that were the case, Bobby would be lucky to make it off the shelf in time for WrestleMania 24 (TICKETS GO ON SALE SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3!!!).

Now then —

Injuries are never good things in and of themselves, but as many folks have already pointed out — if Bobby Lashley *did* have to take a few months off to heal from an injury, then there is probably no better time for this sort of thing than the present. After losing pretty cleanly to Cena at the Great American Bash, Lashley found himself pretty much directionless and doing little more than lying in wait on RAW’s midcard (Carlito?!? Come on…) until Triple H returned, at the very earliest, in order to mix things up in the main event picture.

But now?

Thanks to an injury angle at the (kayfabe) hands of Mr. Kennedy, Lashley is staring at a ready-made program against the former Money in the Bank winner from the moment he walks back into a WWE arena. Even better, since we all know that Vince & co. have something of a soft-spot for Bobby and will want the big man to come back in a relatively high-profile feud, it makes pretty smart business sense to keep *Kennedy* looking strong, as well, that way you can make some serious coin off of the rematch between the two guys whenever The Dominator does make his inevitable return to WWE programming.

For Kennedy fans — that’s the win/win.

Couple the fact that Lashley’s injury, HBK’s surgery, Jeff’s suspension, WWE’s ratings “wake-up-call”, and Triple H’s return still being a few weeks away — and it becomes strikingly clear that WWE’s red brand is in desperate need of a new main-event-level babyface, and QUICK. As some have already pointed out, Cody Rhodes — who’s only got three WWE matches to his credit — is now the default number two active “good guy” on RAW these days (unless you wanna’ count Cryme Tyme…). Not exactly the type of “established talent” that makes folks feel comfortable as the ratings continue to slip.

In other words? MeeThinks WWE is well aware that something needs to be done (and a new face or two will need to be pushed as a credible challenger), and so we can probably expect big things for WWE in the weeks to come, and a major shakeup on the red brand in particular thanks to Bobby Lashley’s untimely exit to the injured reserve list.

Jeff Hardy Sent Home by WWE
Former Tag Champ Gets 30-Day Suspension for “Lack of Maturity”

Well, we can’t say that we didn’t see *this* one coming. It should be noted, however, that it *did* take Jeff quite a while longer to screw up than many folks had expected from him. With a track record of sloppy in-ring performances, erratic backstage behaviors, and flat-out unreliable professionalism, Hardy has (understandably) earned himself quite a reputation in the industry — and *not* in a good way.

On the bright side?

As bad as it is to hear that Hardy won’t be appearing on WWE television for the next 30 days, it *IS* good to hear that the reason why he wasn’t on RAW was because WWE “sent him home” rather than simply because he didn’t bother to show up in the first place. While we’re at it, it’s also somewhat comforting to know that even if it was just spin-control from the Hardy camp, Jeff is looking to use these next thirty days to “heal up” and get his head screwed on straight. Now, of course, whether or not the “Rainbow-Haired Warrior” (hey, it’s better than “Charismatic Enigma”) will actually take this latest round of disciplinary action to heart remains to be seen. But the bottom line here is that as disappointing as it may be to see Jeff Hardy disappear (yet again) from WWE television — I’d much rather hear that he was suspended than found dead.

And while we’re at it, Wellness haters, feel free to add Hardy’s name to the ever-increasing list of those who’ve been disciplined for drug-related infractions. Kurt Angle, Rob Van Dam, Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy… call it hypersensitivity to a looming federal investigation if you’d like, but the fact of the matter is that WWE certainly could have picked themselves some “patsys” that were a LOT less successful (and popular) than these guys. Sure, enhancement talent feels the pinch the most — but cases such as this one go a long way in proving that Wellness isn’t *just* in place to single out the jobbers and lower-card talents of the world, ya’ know.

WWE Second Quarter Financials Released
Company’s Revenue Up, Dividends and Net Income Down

Long and short of this one is that while the company continues to do huge business, stock prices have taken something of a tumble during the months of April-June, and thus overall dividends for stock holders and the cumulative net income for those folks who’ve invested in WWE hasn’t been so hot. WWE has attributed this recent downturn to the costs related with marketing such a major box office flop as “The Condemned,” starring former WWE star “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, but skeptics aren’t so easily convinced — and many folks are already suggesting that the stock slump (just like the ratings slump, etc.) isn’t an Austin-related problem, but rather that it is a direct result of the Benoit family tragedy and the steroid scandal that has unfolded thereafter. To those folks, I’d say —

“Sorry, but no.”

The bodies of the Benoit family weren’t discovered until after close-of-business on Monday, June 25. And since the second-quarter of stock portfolios closed its books on June 31 — that only left buyers/critics just FOUR days of active trading to sell off all associations with “that dead wrestler’s company” in order to have such sales figured into any second-quarter profiles. And yes, plenty of people *did* panic and sell off WWE stock in those final days in June — but believe it or not, WWE’s stock still closed out the quarter at just shy of $18 per share — almost FOUR DOLLARS (22%) HIGHER than the current price of stock in the company.

In other words?

Quarter two’s numbers might have been down, alright, but since they occured just days before the close of the three-month timeframe, the Benoit family murders actually had little effect on the overall shape of business in the SECOND quarter (April-June) of 2007. Of course, thanks to increased media scrutiny and a looming congressional steroid investigation, WWE’s public image has continued to take a beating since the Benoit murders in late June — but the actual broader-range, long-term effects of the tragedy (and its fallout) probably won’t be accessible until third quarter financials are published in early November.

Undoubtedly, their effects will be felt — but until then, WWE is handling enough *actual* problems the way it is, so let’s not throw a fresh batch of erroneous speculation or revisionist history into the mix. It’s understandable to procede with caution, of course, but let’s give the dust from the Benoit case enough time to settle before we start proclaiming the end of the world (Wrestling Entertainment) as we know it, eh?

TNA News

TNA Signs Adam “Pacman” Jones
NFL Star Will Appear, But Won’t Wrestle

This is the third of the three stories this week that got increasingly complicated as the week went on. First the Hardy “no-show,” then the Raw “new-low,” and finally this one… the Pacman “OH NO!”

Alright, where to begin… two major parts to this one, as I see it at least:

1) Many folks, including 411’s esteemed wrestling editor, Larry Csonka, have already pointed out how ill-timed this move is, in light of the recent hubub surrounding WWE, the Benoit murders, the US government, and the potential for an all-out investigation of professional wrestling in general (complete with a “tell-all” CNN documentary forthcoming). And these people are 100% right, in that bringing in a “high profile” mainstream talent with a slew of criminal charges to his credit certainly isn’t doing much to class up the whole image of professional wrestling in general, ya’ know.

But all in all?

In your average water cooler conversation between non-fans, nobody’s gonna’ say “I hear that a smaller wrestling company, Total Nonstop Action, just recently signed Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones as a special enforcer.” What they ARE gonna say instead, however, is “I hear that wrestling just signed that football guy who shot up a strip club.”

And since, for many Americans, “wrestling” and “World Wrestling Entertainment” (actually, most of ’em still call it “WWF wrestling”) have pretty much become synonymous — chances are good that the folks up in Stamford are likely to field just as much of the flack for TNA’s latest brainfart as are Dixie Carter, Jeff Jarrett and company down in Memphis and Orlando. The second the media or congress hears the words “criminal” and “wrestling” in the same sentence, they will IMMEDIATELY turn to World Wrestling Entertainment and ask them account for these problems. Look at the recently ballyhooed list of “100+ dead wrestlers” for proof — the second that WWE says “we can only speak to the five performers who’ve died while under contract with WWE?” Instantly, WWE gets blamed for the state of the industry on the whole, REGARDLESS of whether or not those dead and troubled performers were even on their watch in the first place.

I’m not saying it’s right to kick a man when he’s down, mind you… but if I’m TNA and I see my biggest opponent (WWE) showing signs of weakness, you can bet that there’s a strong temptation to absolutely lay the boots to him while the ref is distracted elsewhere (WWE’s Wellness Policy).

2) Sure, tearing down WWE doesn’t do anything in the way of establishing any positive momentum for TNA to build itself up on its own merits… and sure, this latest misstep could turn out to really bite TNA in the ass as it gives congress open season to broaden their investigation into the wrestling biz (expanding from “WWE-only” to “all US wrestling companies”) — but for those of y’all who are convinced that a government investigation into pro wrestling is the only thing that’s ever really going to bring about change in the industry: is it really such a bad thing if the US government forces TNA to own up for *their* share of the problems in the wrestling industry today?

Even if it hurts the current attitudes towards the wrestling business in general, bottom line is such a high-profile stunt as TNA signing Pacman Jones may well be all that the U.S. government needs to say “let’s investigate those guys too, while we’re at it.” And again, seeing as how TNA currently has ZERO drug-testing policy in place, and that the company seems to pride itself in signing just about EVERY former WWE talent who’s been released due to a run-in with drugs (Angle, Sabu, Test, the James Gang, etc.) — maybe *they* have a lot more to lose should a federal investigation come knocking their way.

But if such an investigation is so long overdue, then isn’t it ultimately a *good* thing for the industry on the whole in the long run that EVERY wrestling company (and not just WWE) be forced to “clean up their act?”

YouThinks Reader Mail

Drew Dwyer gets us started and keeps Mee honest:

John,

I want to start off by saying that your column is a an awesome read and that you are good stuff, one of the highlights of the IWC.

I do want to point out to you that all of the Harts (Teddy, Harry and Nattie) are all 3rd gen stars (grampa Stu was a wrestler). So is Randy Orton (Cowboy Bob Sr.) and Ted DiBiase Jr. (Iron Mike DiBiase).

I am sure you knew that and were just trying to maintain flow in your article, but this week lots of people have been forgetting about Mike DiBiase so I just wanted to fire off an email.

Thanks for taking tome to read my email and keep writing your awesome column.

– Drew Dwyer

Thanks for the e-mail, Drew. You’re absolutely right in pointing out that each of those performers are, in fact, THIRD generation stars and not just second-gen talents. The reason I skimmed over those particulars is because I was just trying to point out that these “famous sons (and daughters)” are the SECOND generation of folks in their respective families that I personally can attest to having watched in the course of my life and wrestling fandom. In other words, yes, Strangler Lewis is historically considered one of the all-time-greats in pro wrestling — but I never actually saw the guy wrestle, ya’ know? Same goes for Stu Hart, Cowboy Bob senior, and so forth. Again, all of these modern-day stars may well hail from “legendary” families with equally famous grandfathers who helped get them into the business — but being just 24 years of age, I can’t honestly “wow, I used to watch that dude’s GRANDFATHER — I feel so OLD!” when all the Stu Hart footage I’ve ever seen has been through the wonders of archival video footage, ya know?

Thanks again for writing, and I hope this clears things up!

Josh Irving has some Thinks about The Dominator:

I just wanted to ask you what you think about all the people out there that criticize bobby lashely and say he’s not over and sucks in the ring. Personally i think lashely is an ok wrestler he’s shown great agility for a man of his size and had a really good freestyle match with chris benoit. For those who say benoit carried him to that match have to realize when your doing a freestyle match you mostly have to execute the moves on your own and i thought they executed good. kinda slow but good. It’s ridiculous to say lashley’s not over do these people see the pops he gets when he comes out?? I’ve heard at house shows he sometimes gets the loudest pops of the night. Lashely doesn’t need to wrestle a kurt angle style match to get over he’s already over doing power moves. I’m sure we’ll get to see him wrestle a more amatuer style as time goes on seeing he’s won chamionships for amatuer wrestling. anyway keep up the good work.

– Josh Irving

I think Lashley is doing just fine for himself, thankyouverymuch. If anything, the recent IWC “hate-on” for Lashley is nothing more than the usual interwebz default to “hate the big man” and to “hate whomever Vince is pushing down our throats this week.” IWCers loves them some smaller guys with technical ability, alright (probably because so many of them/us are skinny-ass or out-of-shape twenty-somethings who are better at computing than at *competing*)… but that doesn’t change the fact that your average non-web fan goes absolutely BONKERS when a dude who’s jacked as hell steps into the ring and tells his opponent that he’s gonna’ kick some ass.

In “real life,” if you were in a bar and a guy the size of a Bryan Danielson or an AJ Styles came up to you and said he was gonna’ beat you up — chances are good that you might just consider actually throwing a punch or two and seeing if the guy could put his money where his five-foot-something, 200ish-pound mouth was. But if a man the size of BATISTA or LASHLEY came over and started calling you out? Odds are good that you’d think twice before throwing down with a guy who looks like he could literally eat you alive and *still* have room for your dorky friend when he’s done.

Sure, Lashley has a long way to go on the microphone and in the ring. And if this injury is serious enough, he’s gonna’ have an even LONGER time to wait before he’ll actually get the chance to hang with the big guns. But again, the average (non-web) fan goes absolutely apeshit from the second that the dude’s music hits (the recently-added “iron-spike-driving” sound effect that kicks the song off has been tremendously effective, btw) — and even if Lashley isn’t the greatest, he’s certainly passable… and WWE has been very good about booking around the guy’s shortcomings in recent months (limiting mic time, putting him against more technically sound opponents, etc.) As a result, fans continue to support the guy regardless of his drawbacks, and even though the injury sucks, Lashley remains a likeable guy with a great look — and so people are gonna’ go WILD the second they hear the guy’s music when he returns.

Mike Grant has some Thinks about a congressional investigation of the ‘rasslin industry, and so I’ll let him close out this section:

Hey there, just wanted to have a respectful discussion about your views on
the government and the WWE.

First off, as an inside fan, you do realize that the industry has way too many deaths occur, not due to natural causes. WWE has a weak policy that does not make much of a difference. What needs to be looked into is why so many wrestlers abuse, and how it can be stopped. The WWE simply will not do that.

WWE thrives on big guys. I mean, look at HHH for example. You think he got that way cleanly? Think of all the various wrestlers who have used some type of drug. It is not getting better. So, when a big time company can not control itself, the government needs to step in. The government can not sit by and let countless more wrestlers die. Yes, the government may have as you see it, more pressing issues, but they certainly have enough time to handle this one as well. That is why they cover various issues when Congress is in session. I am not a big time supporter of government involvement in our lives, but as a wrestling and sports fan, it is needed.

Bonds makes me sick, you know there is abuse in every sport these days, and the sports can not do anything about it. As for entertainers, that to me is a flawed analogy. Lohan is pretty screwed up, but the government can not step into some company and tell them what to do, as there is no company. That is something the courts need to deal with, as these entertainers are independent workers. If they all did work for a company with these drug problems, you can bet the government would clean it up. Cleaning up Hollywood? Not possible. Needed? Yes.

But, the government can clean up sport leagues and wrestling companies. When it is a rampant problem, you can not just give up and say it is what it is. Action needs to be taken. I doubt Vince truly cares if his guys abuse what ever drug or not. He only cares when the government breathes down his neck. Same with Bud Selig. So to me, this is a necessary step, as the WWE needs to be used to set the right example. The government should regulate all of wrestling, as a necessary way to ensure no more deaths due to drugs. I look forward to your response.

– Mike

P.S.
George Sr.: Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the
shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not – not wag our genitals at one
another to make a point.

Greatest show ever

Thanks for writing, Mike — and for your shared fandom in what is easily the greatest show of the past decade. Now then, to your points — roughly in order:

1) Bug Selig did “clean up his act” in addressing the steroid issue in MLB for congress’s sake, but even then he only did so half-heartedly and without any real degree of seriousness. Famed MLB slugger Mark McGuire tells the senate “I’m not here to talk about the past?” Fair enough… moving right along. Home run hero Sammy Sosa mysteriously forgets how to speak English on the floor of the U.S. Congress? Good enough for us — next! Raffy Palmeiro tells congress (under oath) “I have never used steroids, period” and then tests positive for steroids less than six months later?! How’s a ten-game slap-on-the-wrist suspension sound? Yeah, that outta’ do it. Barry Bonds whallops another homer? Hey look, more business for Major League Baseball — and nobody in MLB bats an eye as the dollars continue to roll in by the truckload.

To date, just FIFTEEN professional baseball players have been suspended for violating the league’s steroid policy — the most famous of whom happens to be Rafael Palmeiro (the rest of whom seem to be awfully similar to the WWE’s “midcarders” like Rene Dupree, Joey Mercury and the like). You mean to tell Mee in a league with 30 teams, each boasting a roster of just about 50 players apiece (making for just about 1500 active baseball players in the US today) that just ONE PERCENT of these players use steroids?

Sorry, but I ain’t buying it.

Long story short — a congressional investigation didn’t do shit to “clean up” Major League Baseball, and there’s no reason to believe it will do the same for professional wrestling.

2) You alluded to the fact that WWE is a publically-traded company, amd my fellow 411 news reporter Ryan Byers likewise touched on the topic of a government investigation into wrestling being different than the MLB investigation last week. Though both of y’all seem to concede that a congressional investigation alone ain’t gonna’ fix the wrestling business, it seems that you both are in agreement that given the fact WWE has investors and stockholders to keep happy, there’s a lot more at stake than just mere fan support should the company face a major steroid scandal. In other words, if WWE refuses to clean up their act and if congress can’t compel them to do so — then maybe the biz will be swayed by the fact that shareholders might not want to be associated with an organization with such a shady underbelly.

To that I say…

Martha Stewart.

Even though this famed multi-media maven of home decoration was thrown in the clink for an insider trading scandal back in 2004, in 2005, her publically-traded company, Martha Stewart Living/Omnimedia (MSLO) reported revenues of $209.5 million (US) compared to $187.4 million (US) in 2004. In other words? Yeah, stock prices took a hit when Martha went to jail. But in the bigger picture, people saw low prices as the perfect time to invest in MSLO — a company that had established a pretty impressive track record prior to Stewart’s legal troubles (not unlike WWE, really) — and so thanks to some smart investing and a savvy business plan to restore her public image after the fact, she ultimately walked away from a brush with the ‘feds MORE successful and wealthy than she’d ever been before.

WWE, like Martha Stewart (the brand) has proven INCREDIBLY resilient in the face of some serious adversity. And sure, even though WWE stock or MSLO stock isn’t one of those guaranteed money-makin’ blue-chippers like the tech powerhouses, Google, or other major corporations… bottom line is that *both* WWE and MSLO have a long track record of turning a profit despite tons of setbacks, and there is no reason to believe that WWE (like MSLO) can’t continue to do the same in the future. Especially when you’ve got someone at the helm of WWE (Vince McMahon) who’s as driven and business-savvy (when he sticks to WRESTLING-related ventures, of course) as the CEO of MSLO in Martha Stewart.

3) You say “As for entertainers, that to me is a flawed analogy. Lohan is pretty screwed up, but the government can not step into some company and tell them what to do, as there is no company. That is something the courts need to deal with, as these entertainers are independent workers. If they all did work for a company with these drug problems, you can bet the government would clean it up.”

But you’re mistaken.

a) When they’re making movies, movie stars ARE signed to companies (publicly-held ones, at that). Yes, Lindsay Lohan is (for all intents and purposes) little more than an “independent contractor” who just so happens to work for one company or another on any given day (“I Know Who Killed Me” was a Sony production, while “Georgia Rule” was a Universal production) — but the same can be said (and HAS been said, in fact) of WWE wrestlers, who are actually nothing more than independent contractors who all just happen to work for World Wrestling Entertainment… just like Test *used* to work for WWE and now he works for TNA. In short, when Lindsay Lohan signs a movie contract — she agrees to work for that particular movie stuio (Miramax, New Line, 20th Century Fox, etc.) for the duration of that project. That studio, in turn is owned by a larger COMPANY (Disney, Time Warner, Newscorp, respectively) — that majority of which are publicly-held… just like WWE.

b) For her last movie (“I Know Who Killed Me”), Lindsay worked for SONY pictures (Sony, like WWE, is a publicly-held company). When she gets busted for coke and boozing and can’t make her regularly-scheduled media appearances to help shill the movie to every outlet under the sun, the movie bombed and Sony pictures are the ones left holding the bag and covering the costs for that loss (kinda like when Benoit kills his family, WWE is left to pick up the pieces and suffer the financial backlash after the fact). Since it’s the COMPANY’s stock who’s on the line when their PERFORMERS screw up — it makes just as much sense for Sony to be responsible for Lohan’s behavior while she’s working for them as it does for WWE to be responsible for their stars behavior when their working for them.

c) Speaking of Sony — Sony recording artist Dave Matthews (of The Dave Matthews Band) openly admits to all sorts of drug use. Ditto for just about every other jam-bander, rock star, or rap artist you’ve ever heard of… ALL of whom are signed to major record deals with publicly-held companies (companies that have a LOT of stake in these performers, might I add, and a LOT to lose — both in the way of cash and public image — if their performer should end up dead or in jail). It’s no secret that the number of rock stars who’ve died from drugs in the world is just as staggering (if not moreso) than the number of wrestlers who’ve died from the same — and the rock & roll list is loaded with a slew of famous names (think “Jim Morrison,” “Jimi Hendrix,” “Janis Joplin,” etc.) that are a lot more familiar to the average Joe than, say, “Crash Holly” or “Sherri Martel.” If WWE should test their employees for drugs, why doesn’t Sony test Dave Matthews for the same?

d) If the company’s stock suffers when their employees screw up, and if a publicly-held company like WWE should test for steroids, then there’s absolutely no reason why another publicly-held company like Sony (and the rest of the movie studios) can’t test for drugs. Drug use in Hollywood is just as bad — if not WORSE — than what it is in professional wrestling. If congress were serious about cracking down on drugs (which they’re not), they’d compel every major motion picture studio, record label, and television company to test their employees for drugs.

4) You say “I doubt Vince truly cares if his guys abuse what ever drug or not. He only cares when the government breathes down his neck.” But then again, can’t the same thing be said for Clive Davis, Lorne Michaels, Jay-Z, the Weinsteins, and just about every other industry executive who’s ever turned a blind eye towards the substance abuse of their performers just so long as the bills continue to get paid? Paper-thin though it may be, at least Vince McMahon has provided his employees with a codified stystem of drug testing… heck, he’s even PAID for a number of his performers to go to rehab on the company dime.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here…

That’ll do it for Mee this week. Thanks again to all who’ve written in this week to share TheirThinks as we forge on through these dog days of summer. Just 21 days till Disney World (which reminds Mee — does somebody from the 411 staff wanna’ cover my September 1 column? If not, I smell a MAILBAG!!!). ‘Till next time, enjoy the NFL preseason and the big push towards SummerSlam. I’ll see y’all in seven, and always stay positive.

– Meehan