The MeeThinks Saturday Spectacular: 08.25.07

Rock & Roll

General Wrestling News

Former Wrestling Diva’s “Reality” Show Canned After One Episode
FOX Pulls “Anchorwoman” After a Laughable Debut

This one’s not really “wrestling” news, per se… but it’s tangentially wrestling-related, and has been getting a fair share of ink over these past few days (slow news week much?). From PWInsider:

According to a source associated with the FOX Network, the “reality” series starring former WWE Diva Lauren Jones has already been axed following last night’s terribly rated debut and will be replaced by reruns of FOX comedy “Til Death.”

Last night’s debut garnered a 1.0 rating with 3 share among adults 18-49, with 2.7 million viewers overall. There were only four total episodes scheduled for the series’ run.

Well that was… brief. Briefer than Lauren Jones’ run in WWE, to be exact (February – June 2005).

First “Pepper Dennis” (with Rebecca Romijn) and now “Anchorwoman” (with Lauren Jones), not one but TWO shows about ridiculously attractive female television reporters that tanked faster than you can say “I’m Ron Burgundy.” What is America coming to, I tell ya.

In seriousness, though —

This one isn’t anywhere *near* noteworthy to the wrestling community or its fans on the whole, and it’s merely garnering attention because there’s simply not much else going on in the ‘rasslin biz these days. Call it the proverbial “calm before the storm” if you will, however, as Congress should be moving forward with their all-out investigation of the industry within the next few weeks.

Then again, the results of that investigation will probably just as short-lived as Anchorwoman… but that’s a story for another day. Actually, no it’s not — here it is in a sentence: Congressional investigation into the wrestling industry is window dressing and a waste of taxpayer dollars, and it ain’t gonna’ change a thing in the long run.

And if you’re one of those more critical types who might disagree with Mee on this one, please do yourselves a favor and save your hate mail for February, after the investigation is through and the dust has settled. Sure, a few more suspensions and firings will occur over the next six months whilst ‘rasslin promotions have their Spidey-senses on a hairtrigger. But in the end? Same old, same old…

Brock Lesnar Challenges UFC Champ
Former WWE Star Wants to Fight Couture in December

In an interview with the Mixed Martial Arts trade publication MMA Weekly earlier this week, former WWE and IWGP champion Brock Lesnar confirmed that he was in negotiations to sign a contract with UFC, and that he would be live in attendance for Saturday’s UFC 74 pay-per-view event.

Direct quotes from “The Next Big Thing” included:

“I’m a fighter, and I believe that if somebody should be holding a belt in the UFC, it’s Brock Lesnar.”

And “We’re playing the games, but I’m tired of playing games. It’s time for somebody to make a move. I’m going to go down to the UFC and see what the hell is going on down there. I cannot deny or confirm anything. I’m just telling you this, I’m going to be there Saturday night and I’m looking for a win. I don’t care who it is. If I had to fight somebody, I’d like to fight Randy [Couture]. I’ll fight [Gabriel] Gonzaga. We’ll see what happens.”

And of course, this one… “I hope Randy wins that fight [Saturday Night]. I hope Randy wins that fight and then I can fight him in December.”

“I’m looking to fight somebody with credentials. I’m not just talking Silver Medals in Judo. I want a belt. I’ve fought a lot of tomato cans. I’ve already had it. You know? I want a fillet Mignon. Let’s do it, and do it right. I want to fight somebody, somebody that’s got credentials because I’ve got them too. There isn’t a wrestler, there isn’t a heavyweight out there my size that has done the things I’ve done.”

Well then…

Either Brock is pulling a Kurt Angle 2.0 and simply talking up the possibility of an MMA career in order to divert speculation from the fact that other rumors suggested he may well be TNA-bound (totally possible), OR Lesnar seriously thinks he’s qualified for an all-out career in MMA, and what better way to make a splash in a new profession than by challenging the company’s top guy to a fight? Sure he’s talking a big talk with all this — but if he’s trying not only to get SIGNED but to get himself immediately inserted into a main-event-level match? Seems all the more reasonable that he’d call out the company’s resident “big dog” rather than subjecting his (relatively) untested MMA skills to work in a series of beatings in hopes to one day score a title shot on merit alone.

I mean sure it’s a shortcut and all… but it’s a damned smart one, nonetheless.

Now as to whether or not Lesnar actually has the shootfighting chops to back up his big talk is anybody’s guess. The fact that he’s stayed so close to the “fake fighting” biz two years after flaking out in the first place (and failing to make the final cut in the NFL) isn’t exactly the most comforting sign that the guy can hack it outside the realm of staged combat. True, he does have a boatload of amateur wrestling credentials (going 106-5 in four years of college, and becoming the 2000 NCAA heavyweight ameteur wrestling champion along the way). Plus, he *did* train for a brief period under Greg Nelson (coach of UFC lightweight champ Sean Sherk), as well as with Royce Gracie (UFC hall-of-famer) over the past two years. But then again, the UFC mainstays like Couture and Liddell (and to a lesser extent, Gonzaga) are pretty much career ass-kickers, and all of the amateur wrestling (and WWE, and NFL) experience in the world might totally fall to pieces the second one of those guys locks you in a rear naked choke.

Now then, if I’m Dana White?

I’d sign Lesnar in a heartbeat. Nothing to lose here, really… because if Lesnar fights, you’re guaranteed to score a healthy chunk of wrestling fans *regardless* of the fight’s outcome (yes, WWE, many wrestling fans really *do* watch MMA fights). And if Lesnar *LOSES* the fight (as he probably would)? You get all the more bragging rights about just how “dominant” the homegrown-MMA guys are in comparison to their “fake” sport imported counterparts. Then again, if Lesnar *wins?* You’ve got a brand new MMA star on your hands — and one that’s a no-brainer to attract plenty of fans that might not have otherwise yet made the leap to UFC.

In any case, it should be very interesting to see what develops on this front in the weeks to come.

WWE News

Matt Sydal Offered a WWE Developmental Contract
Indy Standout Likely to Sign in Coming Weeks

Way back on March 17 of this year, I totally called a Sydal signing the moment Wrestling Society X went bye-bye (yay Mee). In case you needed a refresher on that one:

Smart money, MeeThinks, is on guys like Teddy Hart (WWE), Matt Classic a.k.a. Colt Cabana (WWE), Aaron Aguilera (WWE or TNA), Jack Evans (TNA), Syxx-Pac (groan… pick a fed), and on a longshot, Matt Sydal (TNA? perhaps…) to be among the earliest “success stories” to emerge from the rubble of Wrestling Society X

Looking at that list, you’ll notice that Teddy, Colt and Sydal have all been signed or offered a WWE contract in the past five months. Jack Evans is still an ROH mainstay, while Pac and Aguilera continue to mix things up in a number of smaller independent promotions both in the U.S. and abroad. In any case, it’s very good to see that some of the most promising young stars (and Pac) have been able to find work after the ill-fated MTv experiment went the way of “Anchorwoman.”

Regardless, I am thoroughly pumped to see what Sydal can do if given the opportunity in a WWE ring. He’s apparently one of the last exceptions to the ‘E’s latest “don’t hire small dudes” policy (because the company is under the impression that smaller guys — like Benoit, Guerrero, etc. — are more likely to juice up than performers with naturally bigger physiques — like D’Lo, Rosey, etc.)… and so how well Sydal fares in a WWE environment could prove remarkably telling in determining the future course of action for the company’s hiring policies on the whole.

If Sydal can get over despite being smaller and more “technical,” and if fans are willing to accept him just as much as they might accept a naturally-bigger fella’ (if not more), than a guy like Matt Sydal could easily pave the way for the company to continue hiring performers of his stature and physique on down the road. In the mean time, you can’t really blame the ‘E for their heightened sensitivity towards hiring smaller performers. Like it or not, wrestling is and always has been a “big man’s industry,” and tragedies like Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit only further reinforce the notion that performers who ain’t that big (no matter how great they may be) still feel the need to bulk up in order to keep themselves at the top of their game.

Mark Henry Could Be Done with WWE by Autumn
Ten-Year-Plus Tenure Looks to be Drawing to a Close

I’ll keep this one short, as I’ve already gone on record a number of times saying how fortunate Mark Henry has been to have filled out the duration of his WWE contract (and how much of a company man he has been along the way). Unlike many an IWC critic, I have absolutely no problem with Mark Henry whatsoever, and if the guy feels that it’s time to call it a career and move on from WWE? I fully support the decision and wish him absolutely nothing but the best of luck along the way.

The “Smackdown Silverback” has done a fine job of remaining a credible (if not INcredible) main event threat over the past several months, and few can complain that if Henry *is*, in fact, planning to wrap up his WWE tenure, then it’s both fitting and timely that his quittin’ date should just so happen to coincide with the scheduled re-re-re-re-redebut of The Undertaker. After all:

a) Mark Henry was the guy who put ‘Taker out of action (in storyline terms)
b) Henry faced ‘Taker at WM22, but has been unstoppable since ‘Taker went on the shelf
c) ‘Taker will need a high-profile win upon redebuting
d) Beating Henry cleanly (and “retiring” him) instantly puts ‘Taker back in the title hunt
e) A ‘Taker/Khali (or ‘Taker/Batista) program would likely leave the Dead Man as Champion
f) Edge returns late this year, and can chase ‘Taker (or vice-versa) through WrestleMania 24

This leaves us with a well-documented (and believably “back-storied”) showdown between Edge and the Undertaker for WrestleMania come next year (Edge helped put ‘Taker out of action, ya’ know), AND it allows each of the blue brand’s peripherial “main-eventers” (Batista, Khali, etc.) the chance to mix things up in the title hunt for a bit in order to power WWE’s Friday Night show through a solid four-to-six months’ worth of programming with very little trouble.

Now of course, plans can totally change on this one and the Silverback could re-sign with WWE tomorrow for all we know. But as it stands now, it’s nice to see the man’s WWE tenure draw to a close with a fitting and timely “swan song” of a sendoff match that will really help propel the company through the autumn months and down the road to WrestleMania.

WWE Releases Dan Rodman
Former Tough Enough Talent is the Latest in Company Firings

On Wednesday of this week, WWE came to terms with the release of developmental talent Daniel “Rodman” Rodimer. In case you were in the dark about Rodman, the guy was basically a cross between Randy Orton’s tattoos, Brian Christopher’s face, and Mark Jindrak’s body. Not surprisingly, the guy managed to score some major points with Stephanie McMahon since signing with the ‘E back in September of 2006, and so there was actually quite a lot of talk of him being moved to the main roster sooner than later.

But between the Benoit stuff, the (welcome)about-face in pushing big guys who clearly weren’t ready for prime time (Masters, Kozlov, Rodman, etc.), and the looming steroid scandal… plans quickly changed when it came to Steph’s newest “pet project,” and so Rodman’s fast-track to superstardom came to a grinding halt. Couple that with the fact that Rodman/Rodimer had actually seen quite a healthy bit of success as a realtor outside of the wrestling business, and the handwriting was pretty much on the wall for this one for quite some time now.

All in all?

MeeThinks it’s much better for all parties involved if they part ways. Rodimer’s heart wasn’t in it (and he was making better money elsewhere). He had the chance to live his dream and silence the “what ifs?,” and now he can walk away from the wrestling industry with no regrets. WWE, meanwhile, kills three birds with one stone. First, they save a few extra pennies by cutting a developmental talent. Second, they spare themselves the wrath (apathy?) of their fans that they might have otherwise incurred if an all-too-green Rodman was brought up onto one of the main rosters. Third (and perhaps most importantly), they dodge the bullet when it comes to yet ANOTHER “suspiciously muscular” superstar on their payroll, and so the U.S. government has one less target to point at while saying “see! Only the big dudes make it on television!”

To wit, it’s a win/win/win/win.

Speaking of guys who might well show up on TV, however…

D’Lo Brown and “Rosey” Matt Anoa’i Due Back on WWE Television?
Two Former WWE Stars Wrestle Dark Matches in Recent Weeks

Figure4Wrestling (and a number of other sites) mentioned that recent dark matches at WWE television tapings have featured two rather familiar faces to long-time WWE fans — D’Lo Brown and Matt Anoa’i, better known to fans as “Rosey,” formerly of Three Minute Warning (with Jamal/Umaga) and the Super Hero In Training program (with The Hurricane/Gregory Helms). According to folks who’ve seen the bouts live, both men appear to be in great shape, and each looks to have improved substantially in the ring.

Of course, word on the street is that WWE has considered bringing these “naturally big” guys back in order to deflect some of the heat that they’re likely to be taking in the coming weeks whilst Congress investigates the prevalence of performance enhancing drugs in the wrestling business. The thought process is that “naturally big” dudes like D’Lo and Rosey (that fans are already somewhat familiar with) could prove tremendously helpful in (pardon the pun) “rounding out” the WWE midcard by allowing established talent with non-chiseled physiques the chance to mix it up alongside some of the more “suspect” body types on a WWE roster (think Lashley, Masters, etc.).

Now then —

MeeThinks this too is really a great move for all parties involved. While I wouldn’t get my hopes up for a WrestleMania main event featuring guys with any more than 10% body fat in the next five years, of course, I *do* believe that bringing in a few “familiar” performers that are naturally bigger in their body types could really go a long way in helping to mask the fact that MANY a professional wrestler these days is likely to be “cycling down” from whatever gas they happen to be on as the Congressional investigation heats up. This way, fans don’t end up stuck with a midcard brimming with “off-cycle” guys who used to be absolutely ripped.

If D’Lo can be of use (and I’ve always found him to be thoroughly entertaining), and if Rosey has improved in the ring to the point where he can be repackaged even HALF as successfully as his former tag team partner Jamal a.k.a. Umaga? I am all for bringing these guys back and letting them show their stuff in a WWE ring. Again, I’m not going to go as far as to suggest that we’re ushering in a “new era” of professional wrestling, where weight rooms give way to “big boned” genetics — not by a longshot — but as the gym-rats learn how to remain popular WITHOUT relying so heavily on the “supplements,” it certainly couldn’t hurt to have a few extra able (and large) bodies around, at least for the immediate future.

Mick Foley Wants Back on WWE Television, Vince Remains Hesitant
Former WWE Champ Lobbying for Regular On-Screen Role

The long and short of this one is that Mick is up for a more regular role on WWE programming, but Vince & Co. are lukewarm to the idea as they feel that Foley has had trouble connecting with the audience to the same degree as he once had.

To that I’d say —

“They’re right.”

Foley’s in-ring dates are limited, and so (after losing to just about EVERYONE not named “Carlito” in the past three years) he simply can’t afford any more high profile losses. The problem is, since his in-ring dates are limited (thus making rematches a longshot), and since many of his would-be-opponents are still working their way towards establishing any real degree of credibility of their own, his younger opponents simply might not be able to withstand any more high profile Mick Foley wins.

In order for ANY feud to be successful, there has to be a certain degree of “give and take” between the two feuding parties, and fans simply have to believe that EITHER guy can pull off the win. Foley’s been a great help in giving the “rub” to younger talents since his official retirement from active competition, and putting over the young guys is certainly noble, no doubt — but ALWAYS coming back simply to lose a match (and then disappear for six months) is NOT a good thing, as (after a while) it really lessens the credibility of the accomplishment in question.

Bottom line, if I’m Foley?

I’d take the pay cut and the ego bruising, and offer to ply my trade in more of a backstage consultant/writer/producer sort of role (word has it that Dusty is looking to reduce his efforts behind the scenes anyhow, and we all know WWE isn’t jumping at the chance to sign a guy like Jake Roberts for the same job). Yes, it may mean that your time in the spotlight might well be behind you… but you’ve got a tremendous mind for the wrestling business (and a crapload of creativity to boot), and if you *really* want to help put over new talent, a well-crafted storyline will probably mean a LOT more in the long run than a throwaway victory over “that guy that everybody beats.”

The MeeThinks Pay Per View Tracker

The summer pay-per-view season draws to a close this Sunday with “the biggest party of the summer,” WWE SummerSlam. Let’s see our progress so far:

WWE New Year’s Revolution – N/A
TNA Final Resolution – 3/7
WWE Royal Rumble – 2/5
TNA Against All Odds – 2/9
WWE No Way Out – N/A
TNA Destination X – 4/9
WWE WrestleMania 23 – 4/8
TNA Lockdown – 7/9
WWE Backlash – 2/6
TNA Sacrifice – 5/9
WWE Judgment Day – 5/7
WWE One Night Stand – 7/8
TNA SlammiVersary – 3/8
WWE Vengeance – 8/9
TNA Victory Road – 5/7
WWE Great American Bash – 7/8
TNA Hard Justice – 4/9

Cumulative Total: 69/118
Percent Correct: 58.47%

Eeesh. As usual, TNA’s pay per views continue to damage my credibility as a reliable “expert” in picking winners and losers. Here’s hoping that “if we work, work, work this out/ we can still save the summer…” PPV season, that is.

(Ten points to whomever gets that reference, by the way).

I’m seeing a lotta faces coming up big in this one to end an otherwise depressing summer (for reasons kayfabe and non) on a “sunny” note, so I’ll say: Kane, Jillian, Kennedy, Mysterio, Triple H, Punk for the win, Khali retains, Cena retains.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here…

That’ll do it for Mee this week, folks. Actually, that’ll do it for TWO weeks as by the time you’re reading this on Saturday morning, I’ll already be off and up out to sunny Orlando, Florida for a much-needed (and eagerly-anticipated) Meehan family reunion in The Happiest Place on Earth. Yes, for those of y’all keeping track at home, this will be my THIRD trip to the ‘World in two years (and we’re hoping for another one to coincide with WrestleMania 24 on SUNDAY, MARCH 30!!!), but isn’t there an old saying that there’s “never too much of a good thing?” Hey, after the summer I’ve had — MeeThinks I could most definitely use a vacation, so I’m not gonna’ complain.

In case you’re jonsin’ for some more MeeThinks over the next seven days, feel free to check out the Hidden Highlights early next week for a rare cameo appearance with those other guys.’Till then, thanks again for reading, and I’ll see y’all in two weeks when I return. Enjoy SummerSlam, TiVo RAW for Mee, will ya? And always stay positive.

– Meehan

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