The Independent Mid-Card 09.11.07: Cabana vs. Delirious

Colt Cabana vs. Delirious
Ring of Honor – This Means War II – Long Island, NY – April 13, 2007

The Wrestlers:
Colt Cabana – Having recently announced that he had signed a WWE developmental contract, “Classic” Colt Cabana, one of Ring of Honor’s longtime fan favorites, set out on a four event farewell tour. The goal during Cabana’s swansong matches was to highlight his talents in a variety of styles. It seemed fitting that everything start where it began for Cabana: comedy. As one of the true masters of in-ring (and in-promo) humor, Cabana was sure to pull out tricks both old and new in his final pure comedy match in Ring of Honor.

Delirious – After finishing an issue with “Scrap Iron” Adam Pearce earlier in the year, Delirious had just sort of bounced around a bit during the middle part of 2007, including having actually just faced Colt Cabana in a very funny match at ROH’s Fifth Year Festival events in Liverpool, UK. Delirious was also a wildly popular member of the Ring of Honor squad that had lost to a foursome of Dragon Gate wrestlers in the main event of the company’s All Star Extravaganza III event in Detroit, MI two weeks before this match, actually taking the pinfall loss to CIMA. Serious issues and high-impact multiple-man matches aside, Delirious had never once lost his comedic edge, continuing to be the one ROH talent able to keep up with Cabana in that regard.

The Match:
Delirious enters first to Hybrid Stigmata – the Apostasy. He does his usual psychotic run around ringside, complete with a crawling session under the ring itself. Cabana, spurred by a LARGE chant, struts his way down the entrance ramp to his own personal mix of Copa Cabana. Wow is that nice to hear after the old school music from last week’s match. The crowd loudly sings along to the music as Colt gets streamer treatment from a few of the Long Island faithful. Colt shakes the referee’s hand upon entering the ring, and is also greeted by “Please don’t go!” and “Thank you, Colt!” chants. A fan yells “I love you Colt”, only to have Cabana shout back “I love you” and point to him in the crowd. Cabana shakes Delirious’ hand while the masked man sits in the corner (as is his normal routine) and then readies himself in a kung fu stance for the inevitable Delirious freak out. The bell rings and we start things off.

Delirious freaks out, as everyone knew he would, running around the ring and hopping up to the second turnbuckle to start a chant for himself. Delirious hops off the turnbuckle and realizes who he’s facing, deciding to cut an on-the-spot promo (or in his case “promo”), finishing with a real handshake of mutual respect with Cabana. Colt’s confused facial expression totally makes the moment. The two men lock up and Delirious grabs a full nelson (actually audibly calling it the Masterlock). Cabana moves Delirious’ hands into a waistlock and then reverses with a back leg trip, before locking in a modified figure-four leglock. Cabana just toys with Delirious a bit, pulling him up to a seated position before repeatedly pie-facing him back down to the mat. Cabana teases pulling on Delirious’ tassels, but thinks better of it and Delirious pulls himself to the ropes. The referee calls for a break, but Cabana claims to be stuck and asks for help. The referee pulls up on Cabana, but that only increases the pressure on the hold and Delirious starts writhing around in pain. Cabana even gets the referee to repeat the spot a second time, but finally the ref just turns both guys over and physically untangles their legs. Cabana backs off as the crowd goes wild. Delirious makes it to his feet and yells at the referee (“One… Two… Three… Four… BREAK!”) for not enforcing the rules stringently enough.

The two men circle and lock up again as a large “Bah!” chant begins. Delirious gets a single-leg takedown and just starts pulling Cabana’s leg (that’s play-by-play, not analysis; see, these guys are even metatextually funny) until Colt’s boot comes off and Delirious ends up flying backwards into the ropes. Delirious ends up on the floor holding Cabana’s boot, only to throw it at the referee (who by the way is ROH Senior Official Todd Sinclair). Cabana gets his boot back and starts a shouting match with Delirious (in gibberish, of course), but stops to re-tie his boot laces. Delirious prompts another chant as he hops up to the apron and back into the ring.

We get another lockup and this time Delirious quickly grabs a nervehold (during which he keeps yelling “Work the nerves!”). Cabana starts slapping lightly at Delirious’ sides to try to prompt a release of the hold, and finds that tickling him is the best course of action. Colt finally forces the break. Cabana comes off the ropes with a shoulderblock and they look to go into a leapfrog sequence, but Delirious instead starts running the ropes and we get a criss-cross instead. Cabana ends that by simply instructing Delirious to stop running, and then gets him to look up, leaving an opening for a double-leg takedown. Delirious reverses whatever move Colt was going to attempt, but Cabana cartwheels away to stay on his feet and ends up offering Delirious an arm. Delirious stupidly takes it, so Cabana goes through one of his great European style sequences and snapmares Delirious down into a cover for two. Delirious kicks out with such force that Cabana actually gets launched onto the referee in a very *ahem* compromising position. Sinclair’s look of terror (and Colt’s equally uncomfortable facial expression) absolutely make the moment yet again. Cabana goes to apologize to Sinclair, foolishly turning his back on Delirious. The masked man tries to take advantage with an O’Connor Roll, but Cabana grabs onto the Sinclair’s arm, who in turn is holding onto the top rope. Finally Delirious is able to get enough momentum to break Cabana’s grip, completing the rollup for a two count.

Cabana, now sitting on the mat, asks the referee for help getting to his feet. From there things degenerate into a Tom & Jerry cartoon, with Cabana letting go and Sinclair landing on his butt. Delirious then goes and mocks Sinclair’s fall, but Cabana just gets angry (“Don’t make fun of my friend Sinclair!”) and tries to whip Delirious into the corner. Delirious reverses the whip, but Cabana does his European duck-under reversal and gets a pair of armdrags before landing a dropkick. Delirious rolls to the outside to stall Colt’s momentum as the fans chant for the Classic One. Delirious, understandably frustrated, crawls under the ring to hide. Cabana, of course, follows him and we get a few seconds with no one in sight. Delirious eventually pops up and quickly rolls into the ring, counting to ten to indicate that Cabana should be counted out. Moments later, Cabana emerges as well, now sporting a Cabanarama mask. Not sure if that mask is just for fun or whether Colt wore it in Japan or something, but it’s pretty funny. Readers? Anyway, Delirious turns around to see Colt in the mask and IMMEDIATELY backs off, hopping out to ringside and back under the ring. Cabana follows, because, well, just because.

Now things get REALLY over-the-top as Delirious emerges wearing the Cabanarama mask (over his own mask, of course) and strutting around like Colt, while Cabana pops out wearing a Delirious mask and proceeds to run around ringside spouting gibberish like Delirious would. When the two finally end up face-to-face (or in this case, mask-to-mask) in the ring, Delirious quickly ditches the Cabanarama mask in disbelief, only to have Colt mimic his every move. Delirious seems completely confused by what he’s seeing, so Colt kicks him in the midsection and then mocks him (Delirious-style, obviously) before whipping him to the corner and hitting the man with eighteen of his own Neverending Story Clotheslines (complete with stops for exhaustion after numbers eight and fourteen).

Finally Colt breaks things off and whips Delirious cross-corner, finally unmasking to prep for the Flying Asshole (flying butt splash to the corner). Delirious is able to move out of the way and Colt crashes into the turnbuckle, allowing Delirious to kick him in the ass a few times to take advantage. Delirious even shoves Colt shoulder-first into the corner so that he can continue to assault his posterior with kicks. They even work Sinclair into the spot, as he tries to get in between the two men (because Colt is in the ropes), but ends up hitting Cabana in the butt during one of his wild gestures, further injury Chicago’s own. Colt’s oversell of Sinclair’s inadvertent punch is a thing of beauty. Delirious comes running with a double-dropkick to the ass to continue the sequence. He follows up with a sequence of punches to the same region and then hits the one normal wrestling move that makes sense in this case: an atomic drop.

Delirious spends a little too much time mocking Cabana and gets caught in a headlock. Cabana gets whipped off the ropes, but gets the better end of a shoulderblock and they go into a leapfrog sequence for real this time. They do a strange sequence where Cabana whips Delirious to the ropes and then puts Sinclair in his way, only to have Delirious duck under Sinclair and have Colt leapfrog over him as he continues to crawl. Delirious ends that bit with a clothesline to Cabana’s midsection and then comes off the ropes before do-see-doing Sinclair into a kneestrike to Cabana’s butt. Delirious then knocks Sinclair down to one knee and ducks a Cabana clothesline before dropping the Classic One down onto Sinclair’s knee in what amounts to an assisted atomic drop. Cabana is understandably livid at Sinclair, but when he goes to yell at him, Delirious rolls him up with a schoolboy cradle for two. They had to go over the river and through the woods for that sequence, but I think it worked once you saw the whole thing.

Cabana goes to yell at Sinclair again (when will he learn?) so Delirious takes advantage by getting a single-leg takedown and then hitting a double-stomp to Cabana’s ass. Delirious rolls Cabana over, but is only able to get two. Cabana continues to oversell everything, by the way. Delirious climbs to the top rope, but waits a moment too long and Cabana rolls out of the way of a flying elbowdrop. The referee begins to count, but only gets to three as both guys get to their feet. Cabana ducks a clothesline and gets a series of rights before winding up and… hitting a punch right to Delirious’ butt. See, now THAT’S a great payoff. Cabana drops Delirious with a Bionic Elbow (overhead elbow strike) and then whips him cross-corner. Cabana calls for the Flying Asshole again, and this time is able to hit it, but actually sells the move as having done damage to him as well. Colt comes off the ropes and looks for a sunset flip, but Delirious sits down on the move and grabs Cabana’s legs, locking him down for the three count and the win at 11:06. Delirious is announced as the winner, but Colt is the one who gets the chants. A loud “Please don’t go!” chant breaks out as the two men shake hands. Cabana, ever the professional, continues to sell the work to his posterior after the match ends. Delirious leaves first as his music plays, but Cabana remains on the ring apron to soak in a standing ovation. That’s right, a STANDING OVATION. Colt walks all the way around ringside to shake fans’ hands as they chant “We will miss you!” at him.

The Analysis:
Fun stuff all around here. The point of the match was to get across Cabana’s funny side, the element of his skills that first separated him from the pack in Ring of Honor, and in that it succeeded tremendously. Given the goal, ROH officials (and presumably Colt, who must have had some input into his final run) couldn’t have picked a better opponent for this contest than Delirious, who was more than game to go joke for joke with Cabana.

The interesting part of this match is that the psychology was incredibly consistent, even if it was a little out of the ordinary. Delirious picked a body part and worked it effectively, with Cabana selling well and even showing the accumulated damage while executing his own offensive maneuvers. Couple that with Cabana selling the injury all the way through the curtain and you’ve got the kind of dedication that a remarkable number of matches fail to display. Now, the fact that it was Cabana’s backside that was being worked over makes this bit of analysis a little tongue-in-cheek, but still, in terms of going by the book, this match was as solid a performance as you can ask, especially given that it wasn’t supposed to be a serious contest to begin with.

I will note that written descriptions rarely do matches like this justice. A lot of the spots that both men used are meant to be seen and not read, meaning that to get a true appreciation for the match they put together, you should really watch the match yourself, and not rely on my words to convey the comedy.

The Aftermath:
Cabana would go on to lose three of his four farewell contests in Ring of Honor, dropping a decision to Doug Williams as well as ending up on the losing end of a tag team grudge match while teaming with former nemesis Homicide against the duo of “Scrap Iron” Adam Pearce and Brent Albright. Cabana did get to leave Ring of Honor competition on a high note, winning in his hometown of Chicago with a submission victory over Pearce. Cabana has since gone to World Wrestling Entertainment developmental territory OVW where he has recently gotten involved in a feud over that company’s TV Title.

Delirious has been involved in the ongoing feud between Roderick Strong’s No Remorse Corps and Austin Aries’ Resilience faction, though has not been an official member of the latter group. The masked man’s issues with the NRC stem directly from Strong having knocked him out during an FIP World Heavyweight Title defense, and have led to Delirious teaming with a variety of the Corps’ enemies in tag team affairs. In July, Delirious was able to defeat Strong one-on-one in a Fight Without Honor, but was on the losing side of a Philadelphia Street Fight that saw Strong’s NRC team with longtime Delirious rival Matt Sydal to take on Delirious and the Resilience. Though Delirious can earn a shot at ROH World Champion Takeshi Morishima during a Four Corner Survival this weekend in Detroit, perhaps the higher profile match for him this weekend will be the final ROH meeting between Delirious and Sydal, set to take place on Saturday in Chicago Ridge, IL.

The Final Word:
For those concerned that we may be stuck in a Groundhog Day situation, I promise that Colt Cabana will not make an appearance in next week’s IMC. I won’t apologize, however, for wanting a little bit of comedy on what has been a bit of a gloomy day here in the Brew City. For a feel-good comedy affair, there are none better than “Classic” Colt Cabana and Delirious, so that’s what we got this week.

To see this week’s matchup, ROH This Means War II is available at rohwrestling.com. The card also features an International main event that sees ROH World Champion Takeshi Morishima team with Chris Hero to take on Nigel McGuinness & Doug Williams. There’s also an elimination match between the Resilience and the No Remorse Corps as well as a fun contest that sees Claudio Castagnoli go at it with Jay Briscoe. A solid event, even if it’s not overly spectacular. Actually, Hero’s performance in the main event is pretty fun as he cribs moves from a bunch of Pro Wrestling NOAH wrestlers, a nod to his recent tour in Japan.

While you’re here, check out some of the other great columns here at 411 this week. Ari has Column of Honor and Bayani’s got Truth B Told. There’s a great Buy or Sell featuring Stu & the Boss as well as Matt Short’s Navigation Log. Brad and Jake cover ROH Reborn Again while Brad goes solo on PWG All Star Weekend, Night 1 and Night 2. Oh, and Brad also reviewed SHIMMER, Vol. 9. Busy week for Brad, obviously. Magnus looked at CHIKARA Anniversario Blue while John Gregory reviews IWA Mid-South Point Proven. Lots of Independent stuff this week at 411. We also just added a whole new crop of writers, so if there’s something new that pops up this week, give it a look. You never know which of our newest writers will become a site mainstay.

As for later this week, there will be both a Buy or Sell and a Roundtable to preview ROH’s big weekend of action in Detroit and Chicago Ridge, including the Pay-Per-View taping on Saturday. Be sure to be on the lookout for those.

In terms of my life, it’s just another week here in Beertown, but I do want to take a moment to wish a Happy New Year to all those for whom it’s appropriate. Let’s put it this way: if your response was “Huh? What new year?”, then that message wasn’t for you.

I’m planning to be in Detroit as well as Chicago Ridge this weekend, so if you’re going to be there, try to spot the short Jewish kid with the tattoos and say hello. Like I said in the opening, we should get the long-awaited FIP return to the IMC next week, followed by a two-week look at the TPI. Until then, go to Will Hoge’s website (willhoge.com) and follow the instructions to download the new single, Dirty Little War. See you next year, everyone.