The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 12.05.08

Hey all, and welcome back to your regularly scheduled week end dose of intrawebz ‘rasslin optimism. Not all that much in the way of earth-shattering news in the world of the squared circle this week, but we’ve still got a few items worth covering nonetheless. And since we’re light on news, kindly excuse the fact that the ass-end of this column has completely been hijacked for a gratuitous Holiday-themed top ten countdown having absolutely NOTHING to do with professional wrestling whatsoever. So if you’re an aspiring Ebenezer Scrooge who’s just not the Christmas movie type, I’d suggest you brush off the old “back” button and get to clickin.

Otherwise, we’ve got ourselves a ‘rasslin column to read!

Rock & Roll.

In this feature, we’ll make a quick note of those mini-news story items that have either already been covered in greater detail by other writers, or that haven’t quite yet materialized into full-blown mega stories of their own. In either case, these items seem to warrant a brief mention nonetheless so that we can keep better tabs on what all’s developing (and — in theory — end up with a better perspective in the long run) along the way.

The Doghouse: Performers who’ve landed in hot water over the past week.
Hulk Hogan (unsigned) – promoter of upstart “Celebrity Championship Wrestling” television show.
Jimmy Hart (unsigned) – involved with Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling promotion.
Eric Bischoff (unsigned) – involved with Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling promotion.
Brutus Beefcake (unsigned) – involved with Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling promotion.
Brian Knobbs (unsigned) – involved with Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling promotion.
Bill Goldberg (unsigned) – involved with Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling promotion.
Rob Van Dam (unsigned) – involved with Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling promotion.

Notes: The Hulkster’s notoriously “on-again, off-again” relationship with WWE boss Vince McMahon is officially in the “off” again position. Apparently, Vince caught a glimpse of Hogan’s CCW show, and immediately flew into a fit of disgust that such a well-respected figure in the wrestling industry would “expose the business” by way of a behind-the-scenes reality show glimpse into what it takes to perform as a professional wrestler. As such, he has ordered WWE officials to indefinitely sever all ties with anyone remotely involved with Hogan’s promotion — meaning that it could be a good long while before we see WWE dealing with guys like Hogan, Brutus Beefcake, The Nasty Boys, Jimmy Hart, Eric Bischoff, Bill Goldberg (as if that were likely to begin with), and Rob Van Dam.

Given time to let cooler heads prevail, MeeThinks at least one or two of these CCW alums will be back in WWE’s good graces by the dawn of 2010. The wrestling business is an incredibly fickle one, and it is also one where money (and star power) talks if you wait long enough. Bummer for Jimmy Hart, of course, whose been a devout WWE supporter for years, and apparently went through all of the proper WWE channels to clear his involvement with Hogan’s project prior to signing on-board. But like I said — if you wait long enough, MeeThinks this one’ll blow over before all is said and done.

The Debuts: New and/or newly returning performers of the past week.
Dolph Ziggler (RAW) – Longtime backstage character made his in-ring (re)debut on RAW.

Notes: Ziggler’s in-ring appearance at this week’s RAW (LIVE! FROM WASHINGTON D.C.!) was significant for a number of reasons. First, it marked the in-ring debut of the Dolph Ziggler persona. Second, Ziggler — who had only just recently been suspended for violating WWE’s Wellness policy — was actually given a great deal of offense in his losing effort against resident RAW big dog, Dave Batista. This seems to bode well and indicate that the company has high hopes for the sole remaining Spirit Squad alumnus. Finally, Ziggler’s loss on Monday night was one of those rare occassions where a hometown hero (Batista, who is native to Washington, D.C.) actually *WON* a match in front of their local crowd.

The Departures: Obituaries and/or performers whose contracts have ended this week.
Bruce Pritchard (WWE) – a.k.a. “Brother Love.” Longtime WWE employee released on Tuesday
Imani Lee (WWE Developmental) – Former K-1 fighter
Mike Jarvi (WWE Developmental) – Student of Dory Funk, Jr.

Notes: The Bruce Pritchard release is covered in complete detail below.

Mike Jarvi’s release is also the result of budget cuts across the board. In addition, it probably didn’t help the guy’s case that he was brought into the company fold thanks in large part to his support from one Jimmy Hart. Since Hart is currently on the outs with the WWE brass on account of his involvement with Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling show, Jarvi’s firing may indeed be a case not of what he knows, but who.

The Drama: Developing scandals and/or budding backstage rumors.
Batista/Kelly Kelly (WWE) – reported this week to have once been romantically linked.

Notes: This one is pretty much as non-news as it gets, save but to underscore the long-held belief that Dave Batista is about as close to this generation’s backstage Bret Hart as you’re likely to find. Big Dave has been romantically linked with two WWE divas to date (Melina and Kelly Kelly), and is rumored to have been involved with the company’s decision to fire a third (Shelly Martinez, a.k.a. “Ariel”) when a relationship between them failed to develop.

The Disabled List: Performers who’ve gone down to injury or suspension in the past week.
William Regal (RAW) – Day-to-day, missed this week’s RAW due to illness.

Notes: Regal reportedly picked up something of a bug during WWE’s latest tour of the United Kingdom. As a result, his in-ring activity has been severly curtailed in recent weeks. This explains his early elimination from the Survivor Series pay-per-view team match, as well as his onscreen absense from this week’s RAW. He is not expected to miss any substantial time as a result of this illness.

WWE to Present Tribute to the Troops Special on NBC
Company’s sixth tour of occupied military zone garners national attention

To demonstrate just how big a deal this year’s Tribue to the Troops is for WWE, President George W. Bush actually filmed a video message that will air at the opening of this year’s special that honors the U.S. military for their service to the country, and commends the WWE performers for their work in entertaining the men and women of the U.S. armed forces. To view the video (which has not yet been hosted in an embeddable format), click here.

In addition, it has been announced that this year’s Tribute to the Troops special will air as an hour-long holiday special on Saturday, Dec. 20 at 9 p.m. on NBC. Not surprisingly, the WWE regulars have been making the media rounds over the past several days in order to tout their upcoming involvment with this most worthy of causes. In addition to a meet the press event following this week’s RAW (which, not coincidentally, eminated from the nation’s capital in Washington, D.C.), WWE superstars have been making media appearances on a number of mainstream outlets and television broadcasts. Here’s the video of World Champion, John Cena, and RAW diva, Kelly Kelly, who appeared on MSNBC Wednesday afternoon to discuss their upcoming Tribute to the Troops special:

All told?

This is a fantastic cause, and it is great to see WWE and the men and women of the U.S. military receiving a long overdue show of mainstream media attention for their most noble of efforts. Say what you will about Vince McMahon and WWE, but the guy (and his company) have always been tremendously welcoming to members of the armed forces in everything that they do. And sure, the company garners a due bit of media kudos for their efforts from time to time — but the fact that performers from WWE have returned to Iraq and Afghanistan for six years running should tell you that this is clearly more than just a one-off event to bolster a company’s public profile. It’s a great cause and it’s one that doesn’t receive nearly as much media attention as it should, and so I for one am all for any and all coverage that WWE can manage for this event.

Bruce Pritchard Released by WWE
Stephanie McMahon makes decision to axe her father’s longtime associate

Earlier this week, it was announced that Bruce Pritchard — a.k.a. “Brother Love” — had been released by World Wrestling Entertainment. In yesterday’s news report, my esteemed colleague Jeff Small covered this issue in close detail, noting that Pritchard’s firing was largely the decision of one Stephanie McMahon, and that the former onscreen talent had been the source of a number of backstage frustrations (Pritchard had been subjected to weekly drug testing since 1994). In addition, Pritchard’s work load had been greatly reduced over the past several years, and his involvement (or lack thereof) in WWE’s creative process had been a point of backstage contention within the WWE ranks.

So there’s the story so far. In a MeeThinks EXCLUSIVE update:

Despite receiving his release from WWE earlier this week, it appears that the company fully intends to pay Bruce Pritchard for the duration of his contract. As such, Pritchard will not be allowed to work anywhere in the wrestling business until June 2009. While many have said that paying Pritchard out for the remainder of contract is nothing but a waste of good (and otherwise available) money on WWE’s part, it probably warrants mention that were they NOT to pay him out through June of ’09, Bruce Pritchard could easily be one of the hottest backstage “free agents” in recent wrestling history.

In addition to having a long tenure backstage with the World Wrestling Federation/Entertainment company and its innermost workings (for much of his career, Pritchard was widely regarded as Vince McMahon’s right-hand man) this former WWE backstage honcho has a great deal of friends in the industry (including one Jeff Jarrett, with whom Pritchard became close friends as their respective wives battled cancer), and a tremendous mind for the wrestling business (just imagine all of the WWE corporate secrets kicking around the guy’s brain), and would make for an outstanding addition to just about any other promotion in North America.

Ultimately, then —

Though it’s certainly a high cost to pay a newly released employee *NOT* to work, Vince & Co. may well thinking long-term in this decision. Keeping Pritchard on the shelf through next June decreases his drawing power tremendously. Instead of creating a bidding war for rival promotions to sign themselves a free agent fresh out of a company board room meeting (complete with scads of insight as to who all the company is looking to hire, fire, push and promote in the immediate future), WWE has instead protected their company and their longterm investments as a result. No longer privvy to “insider” dirt from the desk of Vince McMahon, Pritchard will instead be forced to ride out the duration of his WWE contract from the comfort of his own home — far removed from the innermost workings and everyday dealings at the World Wrestling Entertainment headquarters. And on Vinny Mac’s end of things (and Steph’s, for that matter), seven months out of the loop gives WWE plenty of time to make sure that a good chunk of those “trade secrets” currently lodged in Pritchard’s noggin are long-since expired before he finds work in a rival promotion (which could happen almost immediately after his no-compete clause expires).

Leaked TNA “Salary Structure” Breakdown Raises Speculation
Uncited payroll ledger spurs speculation in face of economic crisis

Since this week is pretty slow on the news front, kindly allow Mee to engage in a bit of speculative guessing — courtesy of a follow-up story to a report that first appeared RIGHT HERE ON 411MANIA.COM (cheap pop!) in yesterday’s headlines.

Taking a quick look at the supposed TNA salary breakdown that originally appeared in yesterday’s Small for All News Report, and comparing that list to the TNA wrestlers I suggested the company let go back in the FreeThinks from Nov. 21, it looks as if the Orlando-based promotion could stand to save themselves just north of $1.6 million were they to move forward with a new round of lower-card roster cuts. Now for this to work, of course, we have to assume two major things here:

First, we’d need to assume that TNA is, in fact, willing to move forward with a new batch of layoffs. And given their track record? This is something of a stretch in itself, as the company isn’t really all that well-known for canning too many of their talents in the past. Sure they’ve released a few backstage agents (ala Simon Diamond) and have, on rare occassion, nixed an in-ring competitor while they were at it (i.e. — A1, Andrew “Test” Martin), but by and large? Onscreen talents tend to leave the TNA fold only after they’ve milked their last few seconds of television exposure for all it’s worth (e.g. — Ricky Banderas, Rellik, etc.), and even then they usually end up leaving with an open door to return in the future, since TNA is always on the lookout for noteable cameos who’re willing to work on the cheap (see: Hall, Scott). As such, more often than not, TNA often seems to find itself on the receiving end of performers who choose to part ways on their own terms (ala Christian Cage) or at the very least, performers who no-show a TNA event, thus forcing the company’s hand and virtually guaranteeing the performer’s exit (see: Rikishi).

Bottom line: If TNA wants to turn a profit, then they need to start tightening the corporate belt on their own terms in order to let the inmates know who runs their asylum. Sorry kids, but that means roster cuts.

Second point?

We’d also need to assume that the leaked TNA salary breakdown is, in fact, correct. Looking at the list, it certainly seems plausible enough — as it certainly makes sense that lower-card guys would barely be making $100 grand, while the Kurt Angles and Stings of the world would be making well into the six-figure range (given their relative star power and salary expectations from having performed with larger companies throughout their career).

HOWEVER —

There’s also that one nagging little detail that most lower-card TNA performers are actually non-salaried employees, and that they are instead paid on a per-appearance basis. At last check, word had it that the lower-card guys only made something like $250 per television taping. And even if you multiply that figure out over 52 weeks in a year (and that’s assuming a guy like Shark Boy would actually appear on every single week’s iMPACT! broadcast, which certainly hasn’t been the case) — that’d only add up to a whopping $13,000 over one year’s time. Even if you double the per-appearance figure (to $500 per show), or if you throw in a few extra paydays for the “touring schedule” that TNA has only just recently started to implement (say, two extra paid-per-appearance shows a week for each undercard member of the roster), we’re STILL only talking a base “salary” of just about the low $50,000s, at best.

Translation?

In order for the lowest-card talents’ salaries to come anywhere NEAR close to the figures reported in yesterday’s salary breakdown, they’d either a) have to be working just about six shows a week (which is clearly not the case), or b) have to be making a heck of a lot more than $250 per appearance.

Long story short?

The list seems hella-suspect at best. But regardless of whether or not the figures it contains are 100% factually accurate, the underlying principle behind the salary breakdown it pretends to represent still remains. Salaried or not, TNA has a number of talents who are doing little more than costing the company some serious coin — and in a time of economic crisis, it seems like a no-brainer to let at least a few of these lower-card performers seek employment elsewhere. And if the paid-per-appearance story is true, then TNA might actually stand to save a boatload of dough AND still manage to retain the services of a good number of these “enhancement” stars along the way. Though failing to sign main-eventers to guaranteed contracts is only asking for trouble (Rikishi much?), keeping a guy like Shark Boy on a pay-for-play retainer — even if that retainer is inflated to the tune of so much as $1,000 per televised appearance — still allows the company to spice up their programming on occassion with a one-off lower-card cameo, all while saving themselves some serious bucks during the weeks when these enhancement talents are not actively appearing onscreen.

In an oddball bit of news this week, it was announced that former WWF superstars Greg “The Hammer” Valentine and George “The Animal” Steele would be appearing in central Florida on Friday afternoon in order to help promote the release of their new short film, “Somethin’ Fishy.” The premise of the film? Realizing that their days in the squared circle are behind them, The Hammer and The Animal trade angles for angling, and decide to purchase a riverside fishing shop in the Florida sunshine. Here’s the official preview:

Not exactly big-budget entertainment, or so it would seem. But it’s always good to see Greg and George getting work. And on the bright side, this latest venture is certainly a more noble effort than Valentine’s LAST endeavor:

How the mighty have… ah, whatever.

GRATUITOUS HOLIDAY-THEMED TOP TEN COUNTDOWN
Because December is Upon Us and ‘Rasslin News is Light

To kick-start the holiday season, I thought it’d be fun to take a quick minute away from the (relatively light) ‘rasslin news of the week and take a quick look at some of the best Christmas movies of all time. It’s by no means definitive, of course (and entirely subjective, at that) — but as we trudge through the home stretch toward the 25th, here’s a few of my personal favorite flicks to help celebrate the season and those long December nights. Enjoy!

Honorable Mentions: Elf (2003), Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983), A Muppet Christmas Carol

10. Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) Burl Ives as a singing snowman narrator… I honestly don’t think there has been a better casting choice in all of claymation history. And who among us can say that we wouldn’t kill to spend a day on the Island of Misfit Toys?

9. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) Tim Burton struck holiday gold with this twisted yuletide experiment in 1993. Now, fifteen years later, Hot Topics around the world are still selling Jack the Pumpkin King merchandise, and the name “Oogie Boogie” easily tops fellow holiday villains like The Grinch and Ebenezer Scrooge for the coveted title of all-time Christmas uber-baddie (cause the other two had a change of heart, see).

8. A Christmas Carol (1951) For my money, there is nobody who can do Scrooge like Alastair Sim, and I mean nobody. Not Michael Caine, not Patrick Stewart, hell, not even Scrooge McDuck. By far the best film adaptation of the Dickens’ story, and the black -and-white version, if you can find it, is out-and-out movie history.

7. Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) There is an undeniable sense of simplicity found amid the zaniness of Dr. Seuss’ original animated Christmas classic. Far less over-the-top than the Jim Carrey mess of a live-action remake in 2000, this film shines with a honest-to-goodness sort of glow that is nearly unmatched in an increasingly politically correct cinema world.

6. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) To this day, evergreen-hunting families still dismiss the scrawny ones as “Charlie Brown trees,” living proof that Charles Schulz’s forty-three-year-old story has withstood the test of time. Plus, it really just doesn’t get any better than Linus’ “meaning of Christmas” monologue.

5. A Christmas Story (1983) Hard to believe as it may be, this Christmas marks the 25th anniversary of fathers around the country refusing to buy their sons Red Rider BB Guns while singing “you’ll shoot your eye out” to the famed tune of “Nanny Nanny Goo Goo.” Overplayed? Maybe. But a Christmas classic? No doubt.

4. White Christmas (1954) Danny Kaye and Rosemary Clooney accompany Bing Crosby at his holiday best. Sure, old Bing used to wail on the kids and hit the sauce pretty hard, but damn, that guy could sing. Truly a Christmas classic “just like the ones [we] used to know.”

3. Miracle on 34th Street (1947) Forget the 1994 remake, the original “Miracle on 34th Street” is an all-time classic. Simple and direct, the film delivers a touching “yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” message, all while avoiding the trap of coming off as too sweet. Plus the scene where Edmund Gwenn (as the Macy’s store Santa) sends customers to shop at Gimbles is a riot.

2. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) Don’t let the fanboys dissuade you — the Griswold old-fashioned family Christmas celebration is the stuff of legend. From the gigantic tree to Uncle Louis and the squirrel, there are simply not any holiday films that even come close to the genuinely funny, laugh-out-loud moments found in “Vacation.”

1. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) More than 60 years after this Frank Capra film debuted, moviegoers are hard-pressed to find a Christmas story with the same uplifting punch that this film packs. If you have not seen this film, buy, rent or borrow it this month. “MERRY CHRISTMAS, YA’ OLD BUILDING AND LOAN!” Best. Christmas. Ever.

As always, feel free to lodge any and all hate mail in the comments section below. 😉

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

Apologies in advance for the utter subjectivity and complete irrelevance of this week’s gratuitous top ten. Maybe next week I’ll throw in some wrestling-related holiday hijinx just to stay a little closer to the topic at hand. Until then, however — enjoy the TNA PPV this weekend, get that holiday shopping in order! And always stay positive.

– Meehan