The Impact Crater 07.12.07

Quick & Dirty Results

Segment #1: Abyss def Lance Hoyt
Segment #2: Frankie Kazarian def. Michael Shane & Johnny Devine in a triple threat match
Segmetn #3: Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, & The Dudley Boys def. Bobby Roode, Christian, AJ Styles, & Tom Coe

Angle Numero Uno: What if They Had a Main Event and Nobody Cared?

As mentioned seconds ago, this was the last show before the pay per view. I do have to give kudos to TNA for finally getting me to remember that the name of the show is Victory Road. However, I think that may have been the only positive thing that TNA did in regards to promoting the PPV.

For those of you who may have forgotten, the main event of the show this Sunday is supposed to be Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe against the Dudley Boys in a match in which all four men have their titles on the line. Folks who have been reading this column over the course of the last month are aware that I’ve not been a fan of the concept from the beginning, though last week they did make some positive steps towards salvaging an otherwise poor idea. However, on this episode of Impact, they went right back to the sort of backwards booking that they’ve been doing for the last several months. I know that I’ve said this a lot recently, but I’m going to say it one more time, because it’s the truth: In this day and age, the majority of fans tune in to pro wrestling and mixed marital arts shows to watch guys who have personal issues settle those personal issues in a ring. Historically, shows that have had those heated issues in the main event have done much better than shows that haven’t. Despite this fact, TNA seems to be using anything BUT easy to grasp rivalries to sell their shows. It’s never “Pay $19.95 to see these two blood rivals duke it out!” It’s “Pay $19.95 to see a team of guys who don’t get along fight another group of guys who don’t get along in a match with fifty rules!” Sometimes they don’t even include the teams who hate each other and just expect you to buy a show for the match with fifty rules. This time around, they’re doing the feuding teammates angle yet again with Joe and Angle, though it looked like last week they were at least going to create an issue between the two teams.

However, it was not to be. Tonight’s main event was an eight man tag team match featuring the four competitors in Sunday’s Match of Champions teaming together against four random guys. The match itself was pretty good for free TV, but what was the focus as TNA tried to sell their big pay per view? It was the rivalry between Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe, two men who are NOT fighting on the PPV. There was no further incentive for viewers to buy in to a Dudleys vs. Joe/Angle issue or even a Dudleys vs. Angle issue. I’m sure some people will try to argue that the whole point is that people are supposed to buy the PPV to see exactly how the Angle/Joe relationship falls apart, but there are a couple of problems with that: a.) Historically, there’s never been a PPV that’s sold well based on that kind of angle; b.) Joe and Angle fighting is something that fans have seen on 50% of all Impact shows since last August; and c.) if the team falling apart is the big angle to get people interested in a later Angle/Joe match, it shouldn’t be done on pay per view, because that audience is minuscule compared to Impact’s.

I suppose that the good news in all of this is that the eventual plan IS to lead in to an Angle/Joe singles match for the championship, which has the potential to do a decent buyrate for the company if promoted properly. The road there has been a very frustrating one, though.

Angle Numero Dos: The Impact Speical

You know, it’s been a while since we got one of those TNA segments in which they try to cram 5,000 men in to a thirty second span. It was all the rage a few months ago, but they mercifully stopped doing that sort of thing. However, it made a brief return tonight. We had Lance Hoyt vs. Abyss in the opening match. The last time I recall this contest happening was at the end of that insipid reverse battle royale. (Which, by the way, was voted 2006’s Worst Match of the Year in the Wrestling Observer Awards.) It was much better this time around and actually a decent little back and forth contest, complete with a cute reference to the prior match, as Hoyt went for his Van Terminator. Ultimately I think that Abyss should’ve just squashed the guy given that their positions on the card are pretty far apart, but at least he managed to still look like a monster in picking up the victory with the Black Hole Slam. Then the goofiness happened.

First Abyss went to get his bag of glass, and he poured it out in to the ring. Then Doug Basham ran out and saved Lance Hoyt. For some reason, he DIDN’T save Christy Hemme, who you think would be a bit more defenseless in these situations. Then the New Age Outlaws ran out, and they herded Hoyt and Basham to the back. This happened despite the fact that these guys are not having a PPV match according to the current lineup. Oh, and the Damaja wasn’t there, but no explanation was given. So Abyss is still in the ring with Hemme, and it looks like she’s going in to the glass. Whoops, no! AJ Styles and Tom Coe are out to beat on Abyss. Yes, the heels just saved a woman from being slammed in to a pile of broken glass by a babyface. LOGIC~! Styles and Coe punch Abyss once each, and then the lights go off to reveal Sting. Sting and Abyss run off Christian’s flunkies. Christy disappeared somewhere in there. Then Abyss says his first words. Thank god I got a screen capture for the baby book.

Angle Numero Tres: Clusterf@%! to the X Title

Speaking of things that TNA is once again doing for no good reason, it’s time for the pointless match with far too many stips on the PPV! This time around, its’ a ten man “Ultimate X Gauntlet Match,” whatever that means. The rules weren’t completely laid out, but, from Mike Tenay’s explanation, it sounds like a traditional TNA gauntlet match (meaning a Royal Rumble), and, after all of the competitors have entered the ring, it will turn in to an Ultimate X match. However, as usual with TNA, I was left with far more questions about how the match will work than I was answers. This time around, I figured it would be best to just run through those questions in a list format:

1.) As this is a Royal Rumble style match, there will be over the top rope elimination. So, after all ten guys have entered, can you still do the over the top rope elimination, or are all the guys in the ring going after the X?

2.) How are they going to enforce the supposed rule that you can’t use the Ultimate X structure until all ten guys are in the ring? Are they on the honor system? Will they be disqualified if they prematurely climb the scaffolding?

3.) There was a match between the members of Serotonin tonight that was billed as for being the last slot in this match. However, there was a commercial for a PPV countdown special Saturday night which was advertising a DIFFERENT match for the last slot. Which one is actually for the last slot?

4.) When they say “last slot,” do they mean that the nine other competitors have already been determined and this was to determine competitor number ten, or do they mean that the winner of the match gets to enter the gauntlet last?

5.) If there are two different three-way matches to get in to the gauntlet, presumably the four guys who lose in those matches aren’t going to be allowed in the gauntlet. If you take four guys out of the match, are there really ten other X Division wrestlers? I can’t think of them if so.

And the Rest . . .

~ Interesting to see the interaction between Bobby Roode and Christian tonight. I don’t know if they plan on going anywhere with this or if it was a one-shot deal, but, frankly, Roode would’ve been a far better choice for Cage’s stable than AJ Styles was. Roode would’ve actually moved up the card as a result of it, whereas AJ’s upward momentum has been completely killed while in the group.

~ Speaking of killing things, there went the Rhino/Storm angle. I thought that last week they did a good, serious delivery of what could’ve been a hokey story, but Storm’s interview tonight turned it in to a complete joke. I don’t mean that in the sense of “That dastardly heel is mocking this man’s addiction! BOO!” I mean that in the sense of “Well, now it’s a comedy feud.”

~ Fortunately they followed that up with an AWESOME Chris Harris video package. It’s been far too often that TNA brings in a new character without ever establishing what their motivations are. (Hell, we still don’t know how Bobby Roode suddenly got rich.) This, however, made it crystal clear who Chris Harris is and what he wants to accomplish. Two thumbs up.

~ Jerry Lynn and Bob Backlund are a team now? The Jerry Lynn/Chris Sabin feud is still going on? Kevin Nash just likes to stand around while his men are being beaten up? Paparazzi Productions has gone from being a highlight of this show to being a complete headscratcher.

Overall

After taking a few steps forward over the last couple of weeks, Impact took some major steps back here, which is unfortunate given that it was the last show prior to their pay per view. The company is just getting outright frustrating now, as they keep doing the same things month after month after month with no real progression in their business. However, instead of trying a different direction, they’re content to just sit exactly where they’ve been forever, selling the same number of pay per views and sitting in the same 1.0 – 1.2 range of TV ratings and not turning a profit. The funny thing is that there are two very successful promotions in North America in the form of WWE and UFC, but TNA for some reason seems incapable of looking at their business models and picking up on the things that actually work. Of course, I’m not begging for TNA to become a WWE clone, but there are definitely lessons that the promotion could learn when it comes to booking shows that a large number of people are willing to pay to see. Oh well, I don’t have a financial stake in any of this, so maybe I shouldn’t care so much.

Reader Feedback

John R. wants to share a few thoughts on last week’s show:

Big Thumbs up this week on your review! I’ve read your articles for so long now I’ve actually began watching these programs through a “what would Byers think” kind of mentality… Ok, that aside, TNA has done a great job setting up this PPV.

Anyway, keep up the great work!

The last two weeks of build actually was quite good, but boy did things take a turn for the worse with this episode of Imapct. Fortunately they’ve still got some good singles matches like Joe vs. Angle and Christian vs. Abyss in their back pocket, and those should be somewhat meaningful if they don’t do anything too stupid. I’ll keep my fingers crossed on that one.

And that does it for this week. I’ll be back on Sunday with another edition of the brand new Custom Made News Report. Until then, remember the lessons taught to us all by Don West.