The Wednesday Wire: 5.23.12: My Son Will Be Pleased

Come one, come all, and welcome back to the longest running weekly episodic column that I have written in the past few months. Stand up and prepare yourselves for another edition of The Wednesday Wire! It’s probably going to be long, though, as always, so you might want to sit down to read it.

Commentary Discussion: Matt Morgan; Kurt Angle; Chris Jericho

From The Great Capt. Smooth: “After Show costs Cena the match, Ace will pull off a mask to reveal that it was Cena’s ex all along.”

I bet that was the plan until her lawyer got involved and advised her that it wouldn’t be a good idea. Sunday was actually the first time the real John Laurinitis was shown on TV.

From Andre the Midget: “When you talked about putting Angle in a match with Aries I couldn’t have agreed more. I’ve been wanting to see those two go for quite some time now. They need to get maxium use out of Angle while he’s still able to put on quality matches. I was always hoping they’d put Angle in there with Jerry Lynn while they had him (in 2007, not his most recent run).”

Angle versus Lynn probably would have been pretty badass. Remember when Lynn and Sean Waltman renewed their rivalry back in the summer of 2005? That was pretty awesome. Random thought, that. I just think that at this point in his career Angle should stay away from the title and help younger guys get that little extra push toward the top. I wouldn’t mind him teaming with a young guy and going after the tag belts either. That would be interesting and something very new for Kurt. Outside of his partnership with Benoit I don’t think he ever had a long-term tag partner.

From Adam R: “Why do people keep clamoring on and on for Jericho to win one of the world titles? Its obvious he came back to put over younger talent, which he should be doing. I honestly don’t see what the point of Jericho becoming champion in 2012 means when the guy has done everything in the business. I don’t think his run has been disappointing at all, he came back, had some great matches, and put younger guys over. Mission accomplished as far as I’m concerned.”

I agree with you completely. I only put Jericho in there as my prediction because it appears that he’s possibly readying for a move to being a more SmackDown-focused guy, so him taking the predominant SD world title would have made sense. He wouldn’t get a good run with it, but rather be a short-term champion before Sheamus could take it back from him. I think that would help Sheamus more than just holding onto the title right now. Point is moot now anyway though, I guess.

From Dr. Wiki: “Bully Ray attacked some X-Division wrestlers out of frustration and Aries stood up to him for attacking his people (aka X-Division). This column needs more Billy Kidman of the Fat variety.”

Well that makes sense. A simple, straight-forward turn. I can get behind something like that. That’s something we need to see a lot m—

Did I hear somebody mention my name?

NO, Fat Billy Kidman. You DID NOT.

I really think I did, boss! Look at the comment!

Your fat ass doesn’t work for me any more. Don’t call me boss!

Okay boss.

Get the fuck outta here fat boy!

From @ScottOTD: “Is it too optimistic to think that the HHH/Brock thing could include Paul E coming back as a GM? Also I’ll be interested to see how the haters who cried foul at Cena beating Brock justify making himself look unstoppable against Brock (even if he loses the match I’m 1000% confident he won’t look as dominated as Cena did).”

There’s no chance Heyman will be back fulltime. The Laurinitis experiment, as underwhelming as it has been, is not over yet. You’re also right about the eventual HHH/Brock match. I expect Brock to win but it will be a much more even match than the one with Cena.

From Guest#9546: “You’re implying that [Matt Morgan] sucks, which he doesn’t. He moves well and sells well for a big man. He can also talk better than a lot of his peers. It’s just a shame he has to job to people like Crimson and Hernandez when he should have had a run at the top.”

I’m not a fan of Morgan. I thought he had a lot of wasted potential in WWE and I was glad to see TNA pick him up and give him a decent push from the beginning. The problem is that he hasn’t made any improvements in 7 years and seems to have possibly regressed in his ring work. I don’t see the “moves well” part. He’s clunky and off-balance and his discus clothesline is one of the worst I’ve ever seen.

From Guest#4758: “Agreed. The stuttering gimmick was an awful idea considering how well he can talk (I’m not saying he’s The Rock but the guy knows how to use a mic) Plus he’s 7 feet tall and moves and wrestles extremely well for a man his size. If a company actually put some effort into building him up he could be a main event guy easy.”

I just don’t see it. Like I said, I thought he had a ton of potential, but from all I’ve seen he has proven himself to be nothing more than average-at-best in the ring. He also talks too fast and stumbles over his words. Granted he grew up with a speech problem and that kind of thing is always going to have some sort of impact on an individual, but I must be missing something as far as his promos are concerned. I don’t hate the guy and I don’t think he ‘sucks’, but he’s best served as a tag wrestler in my eyes.

From the mecca: “Hey WWE, people might be more likely to buy your ppv if, guess what, you advertise more than 5 matches. yeah we will start expecting the impromptu match, but that won’t make people pay the inflated prices. especially when one of the big matches on the card is an angle match! Cena vs Johnny L and any match with Michael Cole aren’t going to make people buy a ppv. in fact, you have to put out a great card to get people to order it DESPITE the crap on there. if Big Show turns heel fine. if he gets rewarded with a title shot at the next ppv. fine. if Big Show wins the WWE championship and finally gets the dominant monster reign he deserves great, but you could at least have Johnny L have made the match Cena vs Tensai so there is an actual wrestler in there. and hey, this could start the feud and maybe eventually get to Cena vs Johnny L. where the hell did this feud come from? Punk has been the perpetual thorn in Johnny’s side, Cena hasn’t had anything to do with the frickin tool box. makes my brain hurt.”

I don’t think there’s an issue with only advertising a few matches as opposed to a full 7-8 match card. As long as you have a few strong matches that have good build you’ll have people pay to see them. I’d rather not see Big Show in any role outside of henchman. He’s past the point where he should be a dominant champion. How about throwing Tensai and Show together as a tag team? Feud them with Kofi and Truth and have them take the belts while everyone chases them.

Professional Wrestling News: Three Hours of RAW; Two Hours of Live Impact; Sixty-Three Hours of NXT

RAW Goes Three Hours, Everybody Groans
I spent a bunch of quality time with my son last week and didn’t bother with the internet for a couple days. When I came back online one evening I have this thrown at me. So RAW is going to be a three hour event every Monday night, huh? Isn’t that grand! I know that there have been reports for a while that they were thinking about doing a live pre-show every week and it really seems like this is the manifestation of that. The official press release stated that it would be an interactive hour and Stephanie McMahon noted in an interview that fans would be able to go all Taboo Tuesday on our asses during the 8pm hour. I get the feeling that this is going to end up being just like most of the 3-hour RAW shows that they have been doing. Nothing happens in the first hour and it’s just a waste of everybody’s time and then the other two hours are the same as always. Bottom line is I’m not getting my hopes up. I’d like to be pleasantly surprised.

TNA Goes Live for the Summer, Nobody Really Notices
The other big development that I came back online to see was that TNA has announced they will be airing IMPACT live every Thursday from May 31 through some time in July and possibly longer. This coincides with the move to the 8p to 10p timeslot that is also slated to begin on 5/31. Didn’t Hogan say that going live would solve 75% of TNA’s problems? Time to put your money where your mouth is, you big piece of low-grade leather!

The New NXT: Successful First Taping
WWE taped their first 6-years worth of the new-and-improved(?) NXT near Orlando at Full Sail University last week. Other than being a long taping to sit through, the reports are all giving the show a decent amount of praise. It appears to have pretty much been FCW guys and low-card WWE guys, which means it’s like the current NXT just with “rookies” that are actually good. Jim Ross will be the voice of the show along with William Regal, Byron Saxton and Chris Russo, all of whom have been assigned with the broadcasting duties in FCW for the past few months/years. I’m looking forward to seeing the Tyson Kidd v. Michael McGillicutty match that Ross as well as a few others have been raving about. The word is that the show will not be put up online like the current iteration of the show and that it will air internationally on TV. No word on how we will get to see it in the US.

Short Form: The Rest of The News

Chyna passed out 13 or 14 times over the weekend in Miami at the Exxxotica Expo. Sounds like an average weekend.
Brook Hogan was signed to TNA and will be in charge of the Knockouts. I refuse to further acknowledge that this happened in hopes that it will just go away.
Austin Aries and Gunner have signed new deals to stay with TNA.
Vince McMahon wanted Kane to have a 3-foot-long dick in See No Evil. Nobody was even a little bit shocked by this news. He also pushed to have a character who was constantly on roller skates but that idea was also nixed.
Sin Cara returned to action last week on a house show against Hunico. He is set to be a part of the upcoming tour of Mexico.
Jeff Hardy is ‘by far’ the biggest merch seller for TNA. In other news, Duke Droese wasn’t really a garbage man and Ahmed Johnson fucked up very often.
Alex Shelley will not be renewing his TNA contract when it expires soon. He would be a great fit for DGUSA. It’s being reported that he’s likely going to sign with WWE. Hm.
Cody Rhodes posted ‘Time Off’ on Twitter after losing the IC Title to Christian on Sunday.
Respect is not important to Ric Flair, who has reportedly quit TNA in a similar manner to how Peter quit in Office Space. Way to continue being a dick, Flair.

Independent Roundup: PWS Celebrates 5 Years; ROH House Show Results

Pro Wrestling Syndicate Celebrates 5 Years
I don’t have much to say other than I have a feeling I’m going to be spending some money soon. Look at some of what is set for 6/1 and 6/2 in Rahway, NJ:

Night One: Friday June 1, 2012
– Sami Callihan & Anthony Nese v. The Great Muta & KAI
– Mil Mascaras v. Samuray Del Sol
– Big Van Vader v. 2 Cold Scorpio
– AR Fox v. Teddy Hart
– A LIVE MUSIC SING-OFF: Koko B Ware’s “Piledriver” v. Slick’s “Jive Soul Bro”
– Also: The Million Dollar Man, PN News, Tito Santana, Marty Jannetty, AND STAR MAN.

Night Two: Saturday June 2, 2012
– Teddy Hart v. Scott Steiner
– Big Van Vader & 2 Cold Scorpio v. The Powers of Pain (w/Slick)
– PHANTASIO v. Mike “Simon Dean” Bucci
– AR Fox v. Samuray Del Sol v. Taka Suzuki

Buy tickets for $20-$30 or order the iPPVs for $9 each!

Ring of Honor in Richmond, VA: Quick Results
– Jay Lethal def. Mike Mondo
– Harlem & Lancelot Bravado def. Haas & Benjamin via DQ
– Rhett Titus & Kenny King def. Haas & Benjamin via DQ (Tag Title Match)
– Tommaso Ciampa def. Adam Cole – Ciampa refused to attack Cole after the match
– Jay & Mark Briscoe def. Roderick Strong & Michael Elgin
– Chris Silvio & Paradyse def. Jeff Early & Zak Hilton
– Eddie Edwards def. Mike Bennett
– Davey Richards def. Jimmy Jacobs
– Charlie Haas def. Jay Briscoe (Lights Out Match)

The results appear underwhelming on paper but many live reports say that the show was a lot better live than it looks from the plain results. Many people are continually saying that Mike Bennett is improving with every match.

Low Ki in EVOLVE: Undefeated and Overbearing
I checked out EVOLVE 12 over the weekend and really enjoyed it. Not sure what Low Ki’s storyline is leading to and I’m not sure if I like it, but I gotta give it time to develop. It’s just very annoying that he’s talking down to El Generico, a guy who is arguably just as big a star as Low Ki and has been much more successful on the indy scene over the past few years. They have him talking to Generico as if he debuted last week. The guy’s well traveled and has been a champion everywhere for Pete’s sake.

Free Pro Wrestling: RCW and Beyond Wrestling

From TJ Hawke: “Yim must be the babyface, because she was acting all chipper and whatnot. Apparently, Yim was supposed to face Madison Eagles originally. Del Rey wanted to face Yim so much that she injured Eagles so that she could have a match with Yim.”

From Aaron Epic: “This felt like my first real big win and also exactly what Beyond wrestling is about, going out there and having fun in the business I love. Also kinda goes back to an old theory of mine, it does not matter what everyone else does in a match against me but what matters most is that there is nothing better then a right cross to the jaw.”

WWE RAW Supershow 5/21/12: The Verbal Contract

The Big Show Turned Heel? No Way (Out)!
As everybody expected, Big Show made his presence felt in the main event of the Over the Limit PPV on Sunday by way of punching Cena in the face and allowing Big Johnny to take the victory and keep his job. What a mess. Everybody on Facebook and Twitter pointed out that if Big Show was rehired by Johnny on Saturday that his interference was illegal, which caused Michael Cole to make an announcement a little later on in the show that it was a “verbal agreement” and that the actual contract was not signed until the “wee hours” of Monday morning. I don’t know why exactly they chose this continuity fuck-up to acknowledge their mistake, since the internet is constantly calling WWE out on continuity errors, obvious omissions and all other stupid blunders. It’s gotten to the point that they actually have an article up on the Dot Com that is highlighting the issue (I think). OMG it must be a work. Or whatever. The only positive part of this segment for me was the fact that Show v. Cena was announced for No Way Out in June, which means my son won’t be heartbroken that “his boy John” isn’t going to be there. It was touch-and-go for a little while there after his after-match promo at Extreme Rules.

Everything Else: Not Really An Interesting Show
– Hey! Hawkins and Reks on TV!
– Hawkins/Reks, Young/O’Neil, Usos, Primo/Epico, Truth/Kofi, Ziggler/Swagger.
– Tag Team Count: 6 — maybe more? I don’t pay enough attention.
– Dunno why Santino interrupted Ricardo, but it was funny.
– Not a bad match between Orton & Del Rio. Looking forward to seeing Orton/Jericho at NWO.
– Holy crap I think I may get to see Punk/Bryan in a Submission match LIVE!
– Punk didn’t get to say much on commentary. That made me sad.
– Jinder Mahal looked pretty decent out there. Why did he lose his push anyway?
– It looked like Kelly Kelly was legit knocked out by Beth before the finish.
– How are they going to fill 3 hours of TV when THIS is what they have to offer? Longer matches? My fingers are crossed but I refuse to hold my breath.

I think that wraps it up for this week. I’m not going to be home for most of next week so I’m not sure what the status of my column is. I’ll definitely have something but it will be short form. Just a warning. That will be the case for the next month or so since I’m getting ready to move my family across the country in a couple weeks. I’ll keep you updated.

Next week: Less dancing?

– Nicholas A. Marsico